Challenge 152: Growing up is weird.

Nostalgia is a killer. I look at pictures from the Poets days or the Santa Barbara days and it feels both like a lifetime ago and so close. It's heartbreaking to me. How did I get here? And why do I feel so far away from that person? Is it possible that in looking back I can only see the good and the positive?

I can't help but feel the loss. And I'm jealous of my old self. What a concept. I want it all back. I miss it. I want to be then again. But I don't want to be me now, doing what I did then. I want to be back there all over again. It's silly. And stupid. I felt carefree. Just going where the band wind took me, delighted in my boutique job, experimenting with creativity and hair. At least I think that's how it all went. At least that's the story I tell myself now.

Growing up is weird. 30 feels like a completely different ballgame. And not on a conscious level. It just feels different. I can say that 30 is a whole new wonderful part of life and I wouldn't do my 20's over...but today that's a lie. 25 is looking pretty good right about now.