May 31, 2010
I got a great email from Vaughn's dad today. He added a quote in there that said, "No tear by the writer...no tear by the reader." I couldn't agree more and it's right in line with everything I've been feeling lately.
If I'm not feeling much while writing, you won't be feeling much while reading. I use the word boring. But it's more than that. Readers can tell when they're getting a sneak peak into the depths of your mind, or gut, or soul. And that makes for good reading.
Sometimes, for me, the writing spills out of me, like an exorcism. And sometimes I have to think about it and it's all very analytical. Or on the surface. And I hate that. Sometimes what I really want to say is talking bad about people I care about, but I know that's not the virtuous thing to do. So where do I draw the line. Being open only about me?
I'm still learning how to do this.
I'm closing my eyes now. And just letting come out what wants to.
I hate my job. I'm tired of watching other peoples kids, of getting jerked around with my time. Of being at someone's beck and call. I feel disrespected most of the time and over all, it's not what I want to be doing. Not what I thought I'd be doing. I'm tired of this. Tired of be afraid to open my email and being told there's yet another thing I should be doing differently at work. Being told my hours are going to be cut back this week. And that we'll make them up some other time. Really? WHEN?! I have a life outside this job. My time is filled in. I'm working my ass off. I don't even know what I want to have happen, or rather how I'm going to make happen what I want. I almost don't believe it's possible and therein lies the problem. I want to coach. I want to get better. I want my own practice. I'm sick of being someone's bitch. Of taking care of someone else's family. I barely even cook dinner for my own now since I'm cooking dinner for them three days a week. And rarely do I get any appreciation from the kids. It's always, "EW salmon" or "these veggies are weird." Ugh! So frustrating. I feel like I'm constantly failing and since it's not a job I care about, it's not like I'm working really hard to get better. I vowed after the last nanny job I got that I wasn't ever going to nanny again, and here I am. Same problems. I want to fill in the gaps financially with something I care about. Work in a place with really great and open people doing really wonderful things. In a great building, where the people I work for really value me. Really help me grow as I help them grow. I'm fed up.
Ok...so there's that. I guess that's there.
Off to a job interview in a few and wish I was in a better head space. Want to take all this annoyed and frustrated energy and turn it around into a killer interview. But mostly, I want to just go in there and be myself and see what happens. I believe that if it's the right place for me, it'll work out. And if not...back to the drawing board. I know the right opportunity will present itself.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Challenge 140: Getting Lost
May 30, 2010
Sitting here with Vaughn and the boys catching up on missed TV. We're both on our laptops and, I presume, happy as clams. Damn it's good to have him back.
Girls day in Santa Cruz was sunny and fun. I'm tired and my brain is kind of mush, but I think maybe I got a bit of a tan, so it's all worth it. Gotta work on that this summer. A whole new beauty regimen is starting. Tan, gym, fresh veggies. New clothes, hopefully at some point.
I love summer time and I'm feeling like a want to get my dresses out and have picnics.
And now I want to go and watch Lost.
Sitting here with Vaughn and the boys catching up on missed TV. We're both on our laptops and, I presume, happy as clams. Damn it's good to have him back.
Girls day in Santa Cruz was sunny and fun. I'm tired and my brain is kind of mush, but I think maybe I got a bit of a tan, so it's all worth it. Gotta work on that this summer. A whole new beauty regimen is starting. Tan, gym, fresh veggies. New clothes, hopefully at some point.
I love summer time and I'm feeling like a want to get my dresses out and have picnics.
And now I want to go and watch Lost.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Challenge 139: If you don't have something nice to say..
May 29, 2010
I had something to say, and I wrote it out and everything, and then really felt like it wasn't the right thing to do. Saying what was on my mind, honestly and fully open, would hurt the feelings of someone I care about and I definitely don't want to do that. Not even for the sake of my learning to be open.
And so now I'm where I was at yesterday. Here with not much to say. Other than Vaughn's still on tour, and this begins the very long, very hard, touring season. But luckily this one was (relatively) short and he'll be home tomorrow.
Today was sunny and gorgeous. Went for a hike in the morning. Played with Phoenix all day. And did some good old fashioned cleaning. Tomorrow...girls day in Santa Cruz.
I had something to say, and I wrote it out and everything, and then really felt like it wasn't the right thing to do. Saying what was on my mind, honestly and fully open, would hurt the feelings of someone I care about and I definitely don't want to do that. Not even for the sake of my learning to be open.
And so now I'm where I was at yesterday. Here with not much to say. Other than Vaughn's still on tour, and this begins the very long, very hard, touring season. But luckily this one was (relatively) short and he'll be home tomorrow.
Today was sunny and gorgeous. Went for a hike in the morning. Played with Phoenix all day. And did some good old fashioned cleaning. Tomorrow...girls day in Santa Cruz.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Challenge 138: Dentistry for Life
May 28, 2010.
I'm really not into writing this blog right now. I kind of just don't feel like it. Nothing is coming to my mind and I'm trying too hard to write. I even closed my eyes to see what would pop out, and what did was crap. The truth is, I haven't much to say right now. My day was good/fine. Enjoyed the puppy a lot, had a great dinner with an old friend, enjoyed some sun, got work done and am generally feeling pretty good. The dishes got done, the plants got watered, and I even made some necessary (and previously avoided) phone calls.
I'm reeling from a phone call from my dentist yesterday who called to tell me that he's kept my number for over a year and has been meaning to call me to see how my teeth have been doing. We had some problems when I went to see him and I ended having to go back several times to try to handle the problem, which still is a problem. Regardless I wrote him a glowing Yelp review because I really liked him a lot, as a person/as a doctor. So he read my review, and decided that he wanted to offer me free dental for life. He said I might as well get rid of my dental insurance. Shocking. We talked for over 20 minutes. How random. How cool!
So I know that this blog is about challenges, and lately my format has changed. And that has been because the actual writing of the blog, in the way I've been writing, in and of itself has been the challenge.
I'm really not into writing this blog right now. I kind of just don't feel like it. Nothing is coming to my mind and I'm trying too hard to write. I even closed my eyes to see what would pop out, and what did was crap. The truth is, I haven't much to say right now. My day was good/fine. Enjoyed the puppy a lot, had a great dinner with an old friend, enjoyed some sun, got work done and am generally feeling pretty good. The dishes got done, the plants got watered, and I even made some necessary (and previously avoided) phone calls.
I'm reeling from a phone call from my dentist yesterday who called to tell me that he's kept my number for over a year and has been meaning to call me to see how my teeth have been doing. We had some problems when I went to see him and I ended having to go back several times to try to handle the problem, which still is a problem. Regardless I wrote him a glowing Yelp review because I really liked him a lot, as a person/as a doctor. So he read my review, and decided that he wanted to offer me free dental for life. He said I might as well get rid of my dental insurance. Shocking. We talked for over 20 minutes. How random. How cool!
So I know that this blog is about challenges, and lately my format has changed. And that has been because the actual writing of the blog, in the way I've been writing, in and of itself has been the challenge.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Challenge 137: Thank you for playing along
May 27, 2010
Man. I love being a coach. What greater a thing than to be able to be next to someone as they get to live their dreams? What greater thing than to be able to give someone a big push toward the thing they've always been wanting?
I've always wanted my clients to have what they want. But before, I don't think I really knew what that meant, not deep into my bones like I do now. I'm not sure I actually really believed. And the more I'm looking inward, the more I have a knowingness that I want the world for my clients. I want them to have it all. The things they've always wanted. The things they never knew they could have. The things they've struggled with their whole lives. I'm sensitive to them. I'm sensitive with them. I'm becoming more vulnerable and it's making me a better coach.
I woke up this morning in a panic from writing my blog yesterday. Was it weird? Did I say too much? Are people going to be confused? Was it good enough writing? Are people going to ask me about it...god...I hope not. I even thought of taking it down. Or writing about how I wanted to take it down. And as the minutes ticked on, it became less of a big deal. Oh well. What if they do think it's weird? So what? What if I did reveal too much. So what?
So what is the question. And I don't know the answer. What am I so afraid of? I sobbed to a coach about it yesterday, completely unexpectedly. I couldn't even look at him after. I couldn't have him SEE me. And I knew he did. He just looked RIGHT AT ME, into my eyes and into my being. Like he was reading my mind. And I was so uncomfortable I couldn't handle it and broke down. I usually do whatever it takes to avoid that feeling, but he wouldn't let me. And so I let it go.
And now I'm sitting here, at the end of my coaching day, drinking wine, feeling so lucky I get to be there with my clients. SO LUCKY someone's day is changed because of talking with me. So lucky to be doing this. What a gift. My clients are amazing and I just can't wait to see how their lives unfold. How cool is that that this is my job? I want this forever.
I am so grateful to all the steps that have led me here. Every single one. Every single person I meet and every seemingly trivial thing is all a collection of steps that have got me here. You guys are part of my journey, and if you're reading, it probably means that you have been key in my journey in one way or another. And that you're here with me now, as I go through this. Even though I have no idea who you are, I feel like we're in this together. My collective "coaches".
So thank you for playing along. Say hi every now and again.
Man. I love being a coach. What greater a thing than to be able to be next to someone as they get to live their dreams? What greater thing than to be able to give someone a big push toward the thing they've always been wanting?
I've always wanted my clients to have what they want. But before, I don't think I really knew what that meant, not deep into my bones like I do now. I'm not sure I actually really believed. And the more I'm looking inward, the more I have a knowingness that I want the world for my clients. I want them to have it all. The things they've always wanted. The things they never knew they could have. The things they've struggled with their whole lives. I'm sensitive to them. I'm sensitive with them. I'm becoming more vulnerable and it's making me a better coach.
I woke up this morning in a panic from writing my blog yesterday. Was it weird? Did I say too much? Are people going to be confused? Was it good enough writing? Are people going to ask me about it...god...I hope not. I even thought of taking it down. Or writing about how I wanted to take it down. And as the minutes ticked on, it became less of a big deal. Oh well. What if they do think it's weird? So what? What if I did reveal too much. So what?
So what is the question. And I don't know the answer. What am I so afraid of? I sobbed to a coach about it yesterday, completely unexpectedly. I couldn't even look at him after. I couldn't have him SEE me. And I knew he did. He just looked RIGHT AT ME, into my eyes and into my being. Like he was reading my mind. And I was so uncomfortable I couldn't handle it and broke down. I usually do whatever it takes to avoid that feeling, but he wouldn't let me. And so I let it go.
And now I'm sitting here, at the end of my coaching day, drinking wine, feeling so lucky I get to be there with my clients. SO LUCKY someone's day is changed because of talking with me. So lucky to be doing this. What a gift. My clients are amazing and I just can't wait to see how their lives unfold. How cool is that that this is my job? I want this forever.
I am so grateful to all the steps that have led me here. Every single one. Every single person I meet and every seemingly trivial thing is all a collection of steps that have got me here. You guys are part of my journey, and if you're reading, it probably means that you have been key in my journey in one way or another. And that you're here with me now, as I go through this. Even though I have no idea who you are, I feel like we're in this together. My collective "coaches".
So thank you for playing along. Say hi every now and again.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Challenge 136: Dear Sally...
May 26th, 2010
Dear Sally,
I'm writing because I saw you today, for a brief moment. You were standing at the top of the stairs at the beach house wearing a dress of velvet and lace and bows on the sleeves. You were frustrated because the lace was itchy and the bows on your sleeves weren't tied exactly the same. You couldn't stand it. And I knew exactly how you felt. You were at the top of the stairs, all by yourself, blankly staring down to the bottom. You heard the voices coming from the bedroom as though you were underwater...distant and barely understandable. You're in another world, your own world. And you're the only one there. You're waiting for something. To go somewhere.
You were so sad today when I saw you. Your eyes told me that you felt all alone. And that people didn't understand you. You felt bad for feeling the way you did about the bows.
I'm writing this letter because of the look I saw on your face. The look told me that YOU were gone. And in place of YOU, was a wall. A bubble. I wanted to go up to you and throw my arms around you and tell you that everything is ok. That you're ok. That I love you just the way you are and it's ok to be exactly who you are. That no matter how you feel or what you do, that I love you. And that you don't need to protect yourself from anything because I'm here to protect you.
And so I'm telling you now. I love you. I'm here for you. I will never leave you. And you don't need to be afraid anymore. You don't need to protect yourself anymore. Nothing can hurt you ever again.
When you start to feel sad again, feel my arms around you. Know that you're safe. That you can melt into me and I will protect you from anything scary. You don't need that bubble anymore because you have me. And I love you more than you'll ever know.
With all of me,
Sally
Dear Sally,
I'm writing because I saw you today, for a brief moment. You were standing at the top of the stairs at the beach house wearing a dress of velvet and lace and bows on the sleeves. You were frustrated because the lace was itchy and the bows on your sleeves weren't tied exactly the same. You couldn't stand it. And I knew exactly how you felt. You were at the top of the stairs, all by yourself, blankly staring down to the bottom. You heard the voices coming from the bedroom as though you were underwater...distant and barely understandable. You're in another world, your own world. And you're the only one there. You're waiting for something. To go somewhere.
You were so sad today when I saw you. Your eyes told me that you felt all alone. And that people didn't understand you. You felt bad for feeling the way you did about the bows.
I'm writing this letter because of the look I saw on your face. The look told me that YOU were gone. And in place of YOU, was a wall. A bubble. I wanted to go up to you and throw my arms around you and tell you that everything is ok. That you're ok. That I love you just the way you are and it's ok to be exactly who you are. That no matter how you feel or what you do, that I love you. And that you don't need to protect yourself from anything because I'm here to protect you.
And so I'm telling you now. I love you. I'm here for you. I will never leave you. And you don't need to be afraid anymore. You don't need to protect yourself anymore. Nothing can hurt you ever again.
When you start to feel sad again, feel my arms around you. Know that you're safe. That you can melt into me and I will protect you from anything scary. You don't need that bubble anymore because you have me. And I love you more than you'll ever know.
With all of me,
Sally
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Challenge 134: Be completely honest in this blog today
May 25, 2010
Today's challenge is tied into the actual writing of this blog. Being honest and vulnerable. You see, I am aware of you all reading this. I know that what I say will be read, at the very least, by my mom, and at the most, potentially by friends, family, my boss, peers, potential and current clients, and strangers. In in the spirit of honest, I'm admitting that as I write, I tailor everything I say to all the potential readers out there.
"Can't say anything that will get me in trouble with my boss."
"Can't say anything that will worry or alarm my mom."
"Can't say anything that makes me seem like an unconfident coach."
"Can't say anything that will embarrass me."
Everything I write is about portraying what I decide to portray. Not giving away too much information, but rather holding whatever bits and pieces I decide close to my heart.
But this isn't just in this blog that I do this. This is related directly to how I've operated in life for as long as I can remember.
Perhaps a way to protect myself from embarrassment, or getting hurt, or letting people really inside, for fear that they'll leave and I'll be sad. It's a shield. A purposeful, bubble shield, that bounces away any potential dangers.
But I become a shell. A chameleon. Always assessing the situation. Always decided what outfit or conversation or behavior goes along with it. And then behave, talk and dress accordingly. It's not very free. And I've just really started looking at this.
Part of me wants to let it all loose. Just be vulnerable (barely able to say the word). And part of me wants to hold on to it so tight. I know that letting go of it will be the thing that really allows me to soar.
But what if you won't like me? What if I have nothing interesting to say? Who I am if I'm not *insert here whatever you think of me* (a rockstar, a nanny, a friend, a college buddy, a daughter, a sister, a coach, a client, a girl with a great dane, a stranger).
My heart is beating faster after what I just wrote. It's honest. And vulnerable.
I have four minutes until my next call and I really just want to be here and sit with all of this. I don't really feel like being a coach right now.
Today's challenge is tied into the actual writing of this blog. Being honest and vulnerable. You see, I am aware of you all reading this. I know that what I say will be read, at the very least, by my mom, and at the most, potentially by friends, family, my boss, peers, potential and current clients, and strangers. In in the spirit of honest, I'm admitting that as I write, I tailor everything I say to all the potential readers out there.
"Can't say anything that will get me in trouble with my boss."
"Can't say anything that will worry or alarm my mom."
"Can't say anything that makes me seem like an unconfident coach."
"Can't say anything that will embarrass me."
Everything I write is about portraying what I decide to portray. Not giving away too much information, but rather holding whatever bits and pieces I decide close to my heart.
But this isn't just in this blog that I do this. This is related directly to how I've operated in life for as long as I can remember.
Perhaps a way to protect myself from embarrassment, or getting hurt, or letting people really inside, for fear that they'll leave and I'll be sad. It's a shield. A purposeful, bubble shield, that bounces away any potential dangers.
But I become a shell. A chameleon. Always assessing the situation. Always decided what outfit or conversation or behavior goes along with it. And then behave, talk and dress accordingly. It's not very free. And I've just really started looking at this.
Part of me wants to let it all loose. Just be vulnerable (barely able to say the word). And part of me wants to hold on to it so tight. I know that letting go of it will be the thing that really allows me to soar.
But what if you won't like me? What if I have nothing interesting to say? Who I am if I'm not *insert here whatever you think of me* (a rockstar, a nanny, a friend, a college buddy, a daughter, a sister, a coach, a client, a girl with a great dane, a stranger).
My heart is beating faster after what I just wrote. It's honest. And vulnerable.
I have four minutes until my next call and I really just want to be here and sit with all of this. I don't really feel like being a coach right now.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Challenge 133: Clean the kitchen (ugh)
May 24, 2010
Phew...I've had a very full Monday, to start off my very full week. It feels good to be busy. Right now is the first chance I've had to write. I'm sitting here quietly in the living room, listening to cars go by on the street. The animals are both curled up on various places on the couch. Bucket, in his normal right-by-the-window spot, and Coach, on his half of the couch. Today just went on, task by task, call by call, work, dog walk, gym, emails, clients, calls, errands. I got everything done I set out to do, except one thing, which I'm sure will become my challenge in this last hour of my day.
Yesterday, the challenge was to get the belief closet work done. And I did it. I finished all the reading and homework and guided my partner through the whole procedure. At the end, I asked for feedback and he said something very honest and interesting, and it hit me right at the core. I had never gotten such candid feedback. It was kind of hard for me to hear, but I was so grateful that he said it. I made myself kind of sick thinking about it, stomach ache and all, but that just told me that it was something I really should look at. And so I did. Before bed. When I woke up. And during my session with that same client today, when he was guiding me through the process. The best I can come up with is that I'm still learning. I can't jump from novice to expert without a lot of little steps in between. I need to be patient with myself in those steps and take all feedback and all negative feelings as part of the learning. I know how far I've already come in the 9 months since I started coach training, and I can only go up from here. It's just getting through the humps.
Oh!! I also had a really cool thing happen today. I had been really wanting this one thing to happen and really believed it would. Then doubt started to enter my mind, and I kept reminding myself that I could make it happen. This weekend I said to myself "I'm so excited that they call me on Monday," and guess what?! They called me on Monday. It's interesting too that part of the belief I was looking at in my practice with the belief closet today was "I can make happen whatever I want."
This is getting fun.
Challenge 133: Clean the kitchen (ugh)
133 down. 232 to go.
Phew...I've had a very full Monday, to start off my very full week. It feels good to be busy. Right now is the first chance I've had to write. I'm sitting here quietly in the living room, listening to cars go by on the street. The animals are both curled up on various places on the couch. Bucket, in his normal right-by-the-window spot, and Coach, on his half of the couch. Today just went on, task by task, call by call, work, dog walk, gym, emails, clients, calls, errands. I got everything done I set out to do, except one thing, which I'm sure will become my challenge in this last hour of my day.
Yesterday, the challenge was to get the belief closet work done. And I did it. I finished all the reading and homework and guided my partner through the whole procedure. At the end, I asked for feedback and he said something very honest and interesting, and it hit me right at the core. I had never gotten such candid feedback. It was kind of hard for me to hear, but I was so grateful that he said it. I made myself kind of sick thinking about it, stomach ache and all, but that just told me that it was something I really should look at. And so I did. Before bed. When I woke up. And during my session with that same client today, when he was guiding me through the process. The best I can come up with is that I'm still learning. I can't jump from novice to expert without a lot of little steps in between. I need to be patient with myself in those steps and take all feedback and all negative feelings as part of the learning. I know how far I've already come in the 9 months since I started coach training, and I can only go up from here. It's just getting through the humps.
Oh!! I also had a really cool thing happen today. I had been really wanting this one thing to happen and really believed it would. Then doubt started to enter my mind, and I kept reminding myself that I could make it happen. This weekend I said to myself "I'm so excited that they call me on Monday," and guess what?! They called me on Monday. It's interesting too that part of the belief I was looking at in my practice with the belief closet today was "I can make happen whatever I want."
This is getting fun.
Challenge 133: Clean the kitchen (ugh)
133 down. 232 to go.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Challenge 132: Belief closet work
May 23, 2010
I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Actually, I might have gone to bed on the wrong side too. I had a restless nights sleep, tossing and turning, ending up completely diagonaling across the bed with the blankets tossed around. My 7:30 wake up time experiment isn't really working. Both yesterday and today the alarm didn't go off, and when I woke up around 8 ish, I felt so groggy I went back to sleep. Ugh! I'm annoyed that I haven't been getting good sleep lately. I'm eating really healthy, exercising, and going to sleep at a good hour, so I should be feeling great. I'm just going to keep trying to regulate my schedule and see if that helps.
Yesterday the challenge was to finish my reading and I didn't do it. By the time I dropped Phoenix off and ate dinner, I was tired and couldn't really focus. I'm much better about doing "homework" in the morning or during the day. I learned that in college. So I'm putting that challenge back on the list for today, especially since I need to have an exercise done, reading completed, AND do three hours of practitioner training with my partner by Tuesday.
Today is another sunny day. I'm going to grab Phoenix around one and I think we'll go somewhere outside to play. She is just so darn cute. But before that, I want to finish my reading, do the exercise, and try to contact my partner again to set up a practice session.
Challenge: Belief closet work
132 down. 233 to go.
I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Actually, I might have gone to bed on the wrong side too. I had a restless nights sleep, tossing and turning, ending up completely diagonaling across the bed with the blankets tossed around. My 7:30 wake up time experiment isn't really working. Both yesterday and today the alarm didn't go off, and when I woke up around 8 ish, I felt so groggy I went back to sleep. Ugh! I'm annoyed that I haven't been getting good sleep lately. I'm eating really healthy, exercising, and going to sleep at a good hour, so I should be feeling great. I'm just going to keep trying to regulate my schedule and see if that helps.
Yesterday the challenge was to finish my reading and I didn't do it. By the time I dropped Phoenix off and ate dinner, I was tired and couldn't really focus. I'm much better about doing "homework" in the morning or during the day. I learned that in college. So I'm putting that challenge back on the list for today, especially since I need to have an exercise done, reading completed, AND do three hours of practitioner training with my partner by Tuesday.
Today is another sunny day. I'm going to grab Phoenix around one and I think we'll go somewhere outside to play. She is just so darn cute. But before that, I want to finish my reading, do the exercise, and try to contact my partner again to set up a practice session.
Challenge: Belief closet work
132 down. 233 to go.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Challenge 131: Finish Belief Closet reading
May 22, 2010
What a wonderful day, through and through. And not because anything particularly amazing or exciting is happening. Life is happening all around me today and I'm seeing it all. The puppy and I went for a hike this morning in Sibley. The sky was that bright blue color that movies are made of. The clouds stark white. And both being the backdrop for the forrest and trees. The drive up to Sibley is winding and beautiful with sweeping views of the entire bay. I could see three bridges, San Francisco and the East Bay. On the hike, Coach stayed close. If we got too far apart, he'd come back and find me, a bit of a game of hide and seek with me ducking behind a tree to see how long it would take him to sniff me out. He found some dogs to play with, but none that distracted him too much from our journey together. When we got to the peak of this hill I took a moment to really enjoy what I was seeing. The tall grass swaying in the breeze, the meditation labyrinth down below that I had never seen before, the running kids with their parents, the rolling hills ahead. And Coach stayed right by my side. I was so proud.
Now I'm sitting on the couch with Coach to my right and Phoenix right in front of me playing, petting Coach, and bouncing around. Life everywhere. The trees are moving. The wind is dancing. And I got a pup and a kid to keep me company.
Yesterday my challenge was to handle the bookcase and I have to admit that I did nothing on that front. My day just took off and much more exciting coaching things filled the spots that that task was going to take, so I didn't feel too bad. It's still on my list, however.
Today, I want to finish reading the instruction manual for this new practice I'm learning. It's all about how beliefs create your experiences and how limited beliefs can really prevent you from having what you want in your life. I'm learning to become a practitioner of this cool process that is supposed to get rid of limiting beliefs and replace then with new beliefs. Interesting stuff!
So I want to finish the reading and set up a meeting with my partner to practice.
Challenge 131: Finish Belief Closet reading
131 down. 234 to go
What a wonderful day, through and through. And not because anything particularly amazing or exciting is happening. Life is happening all around me today and I'm seeing it all. The puppy and I went for a hike this morning in Sibley. The sky was that bright blue color that movies are made of. The clouds stark white. And both being the backdrop for the forrest and trees. The drive up to Sibley is winding and beautiful with sweeping views of the entire bay. I could see three bridges, San Francisco and the East Bay. On the hike, Coach stayed close. If we got too far apart, he'd come back and find me, a bit of a game of hide and seek with me ducking behind a tree to see how long it would take him to sniff me out. He found some dogs to play with, but none that distracted him too much from our journey together. When we got to the peak of this hill I took a moment to really enjoy what I was seeing. The tall grass swaying in the breeze, the meditation labyrinth down below that I had never seen before, the running kids with their parents, the rolling hills ahead. And Coach stayed right by my side. I was so proud.
Now I'm sitting on the couch with Coach to my right and Phoenix right in front of me playing, petting Coach, and bouncing around. Life everywhere. The trees are moving. The wind is dancing. And I got a pup and a kid to keep me company.
Yesterday my challenge was to handle the bookcase and I have to admit that I did nothing on that front. My day just took off and much more exciting coaching things filled the spots that that task was going to take, so I didn't feel too bad. It's still on my list, however.
Today, I want to finish reading the instruction manual for this new practice I'm learning. It's all about how beliefs create your experiences and how limited beliefs can really prevent you from having what you want in your life. I'm learning to become a practitioner of this cool process that is supposed to get rid of limiting beliefs and replace then with new beliefs. Interesting stuff!
So I want to finish the reading and set up a meeting with my partner to practice.
Challenge 131: Finish Belief Closet reading
131 down. 234 to go
Friday, May 21, 2010
Challenge 130: Get rid of bookshelf
May 21, 2010
My favorite thing to do in the morning is cuddle with everyone in bed. I so much enjoy this time, with coach snoring, cuddled up next to me in the bed, and Bucket crawling around us both. They are so sweet in the morning, and I always try to take a few minutes to enjoy that before I get. This morning, 7:30 came around way too early. It might have been the couple glasses of wine I had last night, or my later bed time, but I just couldn't get up, and didn't really HAVE to so there wasn't anything strong enough motivated me to push through it. So I invited Coach up on to the bed, and we rested until 8:30. He's now sprawled out across the bed as I write this.
Yesterday my challenge was to get to this city for my sister's fundraiser. I had had an 8 hour coaching day, so I knew I would be pretty exhausted by the end, but decided to go anyway. And I'm so glad I did. I got Lily to come with me and we got ready together just like in the old days when we lived together in Santa Barbara. Then we headed to the city. I don't think me and Lily have gone out like that since she moved here, so it was just so much fun to hang out sans our men, sans our puppies and baby. Just the girls. When we got to the fundraiser, there was no one at the door collecting money, so we decided to post up there. It felt really good to be able to be part of helping my sister raise money. I'm so glad we were able to be there to support.
Today is a fairly relaxed day, although I'm filling it quickly with things to do. I promised my coach I'd go to the gym MWF, so I have to do that, and I have some work for my boss, client stuff, etc. Later, I'm hanging out with my girl Erica. Not exactly sure what challenge to give myself except there has been this book shelf in our laundry room that is literally right in the middle of the room. It's been there for months and it is starting to really bother me. Vaughn is gone so I can't get him to help me move it, so i think a good challenge would be figuring out how to get rid of it.
Challenge 130: Get rid of bookshelf
130 down. 235 to go.
My favorite thing to do in the morning is cuddle with everyone in bed. I so much enjoy this time, with coach snoring, cuddled up next to me in the bed, and Bucket crawling around us both. They are so sweet in the morning, and I always try to take a few minutes to enjoy that before I get. This morning, 7:30 came around way too early. It might have been the couple glasses of wine I had last night, or my later bed time, but I just couldn't get up, and didn't really HAVE to so there wasn't anything strong enough motivated me to push through it. So I invited Coach up on to the bed, and we rested until 8:30. He's now sprawled out across the bed as I write this.
Yesterday my challenge was to get to this city for my sister's fundraiser. I had had an 8 hour coaching day, so I knew I would be pretty exhausted by the end, but decided to go anyway. And I'm so glad I did. I got Lily to come with me and we got ready together just like in the old days when we lived together in Santa Barbara. Then we headed to the city. I don't think me and Lily have gone out like that since she moved here, so it was just so much fun to hang out sans our men, sans our puppies and baby. Just the girls. When we got to the fundraiser, there was no one at the door collecting money, so we decided to post up there. It felt really good to be able to be part of helping my sister raise money. I'm so glad we were able to be there to support.
Today is a fairly relaxed day, although I'm filling it quickly with things to do. I promised my coach I'd go to the gym MWF, so I have to do that, and I have some work for my boss, client stuff, etc. Later, I'm hanging out with my girl Erica. Not exactly sure what challenge to give myself except there has been this book shelf in our laundry room that is literally right in the middle of the room. It's been there for months and it is starting to really bother me. Vaughn is gone so I can't get him to help me move it, so i think a good challenge would be figuring out how to get rid of it.
Challenge 130: Get rid of bookshelf
130 down. 235 to go.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Challenge 129: Get to my sister's fundraiser
May 20, 2010
I may have gone a little overboard with my waking up experiment. I set the alarm for 7:30 this morning, and that felt...tired. BUT, when I tried to go back to sleep until 8, I couldn't. So I just stayed in bed cuddling with Coach and Bucket. And now I feel good. It's 8:30 and I've already called my step-dad to wish him a happy birthday, eaten breakfast, had tea, checked all my emails and Facebook, AND checked Perez. My morning routine, minus dog walk and shower, is already finished and it's not even 9. And THAT feels good. I decided to hop back in bed, under the warm covers and with the puppy, to write this. Having this extra time is so relaxing.
Yesterday the challenge was to get to the gym, and a challenge it was indeed. I had to get my car from across town, and then drive to downtown Oakland in traffic in order to make it. But I did it! And I'm so glad I did. One of the first steps in my new health plan, and I think it's (along with the sleep thing) going to make me feel a lot better. Other than the gym, I had a busy coaching day. Coaching call, certification call, supervision call. All good stuff. I'm loving being in certification and am sad that it's almost over. BUT, I'm learning this new thing that I think will really add to my coaching, and I can continue that even after certification is over.
Today is another big, long coaching day and I'm really excited. I have some things I need to do to follow up with clients, emails etc. But I'll do those anyway, so I'm not going to put it as a challenge. A big challenge for me would be getting to the city tonight for my sister's fundraiser. I'm not sure I can swing it with my clients, but I would really like to be there for her and support her, so I'm putting it on the list.
Challenge 129: Get to my sister's fundraiser
129 down. 236 to go.
I may have gone a little overboard with my waking up experiment. I set the alarm for 7:30 this morning, and that felt...tired. BUT, when I tried to go back to sleep until 8, I couldn't. So I just stayed in bed cuddling with Coach and Bucket. And now I feel good. It's 8:30 and I've already called my step-dad to wish him a happy birthday, eaten breakfast, had tea, checked all my emails and Facebook, AND checked Perez. My morning routine, minus dog walk and shower, is already finished and it's not even 9. And THAT feels good. I decided to hop back in bed, under the warm covers and with the puppy, to write this. Having this extra time is so relaxing.
Yesterday the challenge was to get to the gym, and a challenge it was indeed. I had to get my car from across town, and then drive to downtown Oakland in traffic in order to make it. But I did it! And I'm so glad I did. One of the first steps in my new health plan, and I think it's (along with the sleep thing) going to make me feel a lot better. Other than the gym, I had a busy coaching day. Coaching call, certification call, supervision call. All good stuff. I'm loving being in certification and am sad that it's almost over. BUT, I'm learning this new thing that I think will really add to my coaching, and I can continue that even after certification is over.
Today is another big, long coaching day and I'm really excited. I have some things I need to do to follow up with clients, emails etc. But I'll do those anyway, so I'm not going to put it as a challenge. A big challenge for me would be getting to the city tonight for my sister's fundraiser. I'm not sure I can swing it with my clients, but I would really like to be there for her and support her, so I'm putting it on the list.
Challenge 129: Get to my sister's fundraiser
129 down. 236 to go.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Challenge 128: Get to the gym
May 19, 2010
It was as I expected...I think I've been getting too much sleep. Or rather, that the hours I have been choosing to sleep aren't ideal for my body. I naturally woke up before 8 this morning, feeling pretty good and clear headed, but decided to go back to sleep since I didn't really have to be up until around 9. Well, when 9 rolled around, I woke up out of a deep dream sleep, groggy and heavy. Lesson...wake up earlier. I'm going to keep trying different times out until I get one that feels good. I'm also implementing a new exercise/health routine with my coach that will get me out of bed earlier anyway. So we'll see how this all goes!
Yesterday I had a lot to do in an hour and I got it all done! Even though I had no idea how I was going to, I did it. I even took the dog out for a walk and was right on time picking up Isabel from school.
Today is another busy day. I've already had a coaching call and I have my certification call and then a supervision call, as well as an agreement to my own coach to go to the gym. I have a million excuses why I can't get there, mainly because our car is in the shop, but I have to figure out a way.
Challenge 128: Get to the gym
128 down. 237 to go.
It was as I expected...I think I've been getting too much sleep. Or rather, that the hours I have been choosing to sleep aren't ideal for my body. I naturally woke up before 8 this morning, feeling pretty good and clear headed, but decided to go back to sleep since I didn't really have to be up until around 9. Well, when 9 rolled around, I woke up out of a deep dream sleep, groggy and heavy. Lesson...wake up earlier. I'm going to keep trying different times out until I get one that feels good. I'm also implementing a new exercise/health routine with my coach that will get me out of bed earlier anyway. So we'll see how this all goes!
Yesterday I had a lot to do in an hour and I got it all done! Even though I had no idea how I was going to, I did it. I even took the dog out for a walk and was right on time picking up Isabel from school.
Today is another busy day. I've already had a coaching call and I have my certification call and then a supervision call, as well as an agreement to my own coach to go to the gym. I have a million excuses why I can't get there, mainly because our car is in the shop, but I have to figure out a way.
Challenge 128: Get to the gym
128 down. 237 to go.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Challenge 127: Clients, and paperwork, and cover letters and emails (Oh my!)
May 18, 2010
Today started out with an eerily familiar foggy and groggy feeling. It used to be how everyday started for me. Waking up from a deep and heavy sleep, with deeply heavy eyes and a foggy head with a headache. I hadn't felt this way in a long time, but lately, it's how I wake up. I wonder if I'm getting too much sleep? Although 8 hours doesn't seem like too much. Or maybe my diet is affecting it. I don't know but I don't like it.
I quickly got out of it, thanks to a cup of tea and some breakfast and had a coaching call that has energized me for the rest of the day (hopefully). I have a lot on my plate today, and most of it needs to be done before I head out to work in less than an hour. How to get to all of it?!?! Just buckle down and do it.
So this post is going to be short. I must get started.
Challenge 127: Clients, and paperwork, and cover letters and emails (Oh my!)
127 down. 238 to go.
Today started out with an eerily familiar foggy and groggy feeling. It used to be how everyday started for me. Waking up from a deep and heavy sleep, with deeply heavy eyes and a foggy head with a headache. I hadn't felt this way in a long time, but lately, it's how I wake up. I wonder if I'm getting too much sleep? Although 8 hours doesn't seem like too much. Or maybe my diet is affecting it. I don't know but I don't like it.
I quickly got out of it, thanks to a cup of tea and some breakfast and had a coaching call that has energized me for the rest of the day (hopefully). I have a lot on my plate today, and most of it needs to be done before I head out to work in less than an hour. How to get to all of it?!?! Just buckle down and do it.
So this post is going to be short. I must get started.
Challenge 127: Clients, and paperwork, and cover letters and emails (Oh my!)
127 down. 238 to go.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Challenge 126: Clean
May 17, 2010
Ahhh Monday mornings. Not my most favorite morning of the week. I think automatically I feel a bunch of pressure, even though I don't have a ton on my plate. I hate waking up with that feeling. On a cuddly note, the puppy was very cute and sweet this morning, cuddled up in a little ball right next to me as we snoozed on and off for a half hour before getting up. Something is up with him lately. He's more needy than usual and he just got into a fight at the dog park. Hmmm. I'm sure it's nothing. I just worry a lot.
I've been feeling nostalgic lately. Remembering the days in Santa Barbara, working at True Grit, hanging out with bands and having the time of my life. Although I'm really happy now, I think back to those times and feel a bit jealous of myself! HA! Don't know if that makes sense. I know there is a general progression of life and times, and I'm excited for what the future holds, but there was a sense back then that I could do anything. Technically, I guess, nothing has really changed and I'm sure I could still do anything, but nothing compares to being 25 and sassy.
Today. Work.
Challenge 126: Clean from this weekend
126 down. 239 to go.
Ahhh Monday mornings. Not my most favorite morning of the week. I think automatically I feel a bunch of pressure, even though I don't have a ton on my plate. I hate waking up with that feeling. On a cuddly note, the puppy was very cute and sweet this morning, cuddled up in a little ball right next to me as we snoozed on and off for a half hour before getting up. Something is up with him lately. He's more needy than usual and he just got into a fight at the dog park. Hmmm. I'm sure it's nothing. I just worry a lot.
I've been feeling nostalgic lately. Remembering the days in Santa Barbara, working at True Grit, hanging out with bands and having the time of my life. Although I'm really happy now, I think back to those times and feel a bit jealous of myself! HA! Don't know if that makes sense. I know there is a general progression of life and times, and I'm excited for what the future holds, but there was a sense back then that I could do anything. Technically, I guess, nothing has really changed and I'm sure I could still do anything, but nothing compares to being 25 and sassy.
Today. Work.
Challenge 126: Clean from this weekend
126 down. 239 to go.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Challenge 125: Homework and puzzle
May 16, 2010
The end of a really great and full and fun weekend with my friends. We just had so much fun. A lot of laughing and girl time and painting of nails. We watched the first three hours of the very first season of 90210 last night. If that doesn't scream girls weekend, I don't know what does. The thing that strikes me, every time I get together with my friends, is how incredible they all are. So smart, interesting, talented, creative. It's like they are each so uniquely cool that I feel so lucky to know them. I'm so glad we could all get together.
As for my challenge yesterday, I was able to get the house cleaned before bed. The dishes were done and things (that weren't actively being used) were straightened up.
Everyone is now gone and the remnants of the party are still here. Nail polish on the table. Beer in the fridge. Coffee still in the pot. But it's quiet. And I have work to do. First, lemon pepper salmon and asparagus for dinner with my honey.
Challenge 125: Coaching homework and puzzle
125 down. 240 to go
The end of a really great and full and fun weekend with my friends. We just had so much fun. A lot of laughing and girl time and painting of nails. We watched the first three hours of the very first season of 90210 last night. If that doesn't scream girls weekend, I don't know what does. The thing that strikes me, every time I get together with my friends, is how incredible they all are. So smart, interesting, talented, creative. It's like they are each so uniquely cool that I feel so lucky to know them. I'm so glad we could all get together.
As for my challenge yesterday, I was able to get the house cleaned before bed. The dishes were done and things (that weren't actively being used) were straightened up.
Everyone is now gone and the remnants of the party are still here. Nail polish on the table. Beer in the fridge. Coffee still in the pot. But it's quiet. And I have work to do. First, lemon pepper salmon and asparagus for dinner with my honey.
Challenge 125: Coaching homework and puzzle
125 down. 240 to go
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Challenge 124: Clean house
May 15, 2010
I have been having way too much fun all day and I almost forgot to write. The girls are up for girls weekend. We've had lots of laughter, wine, pizza, beer, silliness and now we're working on dinner. The puppy is pooped and the house is a mess. And I love it all. I love have everyone around. And I'm ready for a nap!
Can't imagine what my challenge could be for the day. Hmmm...maybe clean the house before the night is over so we don't wake up to a mess (even though I really don't feel like cleaning).
Challenge 124: Clean house
I have been having way too much fun all day and I almost forgot to write. The girls are up for girls weekend. We've had lots of laughter, wine, pizza, beer, silliness and now we're working on dinner. The puppy is pooped and the house is a mess. And I love it all. I love have everyone around. And I'm ready for a nap!
Can't imagine what my challenge could be for the day. Hmmm...maybe clean the house before the night is over so we don't wake up to a mess (even though I really don't feel like cleaning).
Challenge 124: Clean house
Friday, May 14, 2010
Challenge 123: Paperwork!
May 14, 2010
Man, I'm already so exhausted for the day! I didn't sleep well last night and woke up early this morning in order to get to my bosses house earlier enough to finish work so I could prepare for my friends coming into town this weekend. Well, what I thought might be a two hour job has already turned into an over FIVE hour job!! And still more to do. I'm just taking a little breather here to write this blog.
Yesterday the challenge was to follow up with potential clients and I'm happy to say that I not only did that, but I connected with some other people about some cool coaching opportunities. I had a very productive day, client wise. NOW, I have to do the follow-up to those follow-ups and send out a bunch of paperwork. I smell a challenge coming on.
I'm really excited for this weekend. I have some good friends coming from out of town and we always have a blast together. Can't wait! But before then, I have to make sure the house is tidy and the groceries shopped.
I guess I better get back to work.
Challenge 123: Paperwork!
123 down. 242 to go.
Man, I'm already so exhausted for the day! I didn't sleep well last night and woke up early this morning in order to get to my bosses house earlier enough to finish work so I could prepare for my friends coming into town this weekend. Well, what I thought might be a two hour job has already turned into an over FIVE hour job!! And still more to do. I'm just taking a little breather here to write this blog.
Yesterday the challenge was to follow up with potential clients and I'm happy to say that I not only did that, but I connected with some other people about some cool coaching opportunities. I had a very productive day, client wise. NOW, I have to do the follow-up to those follow-ups and send out a bunch of paperwork. I smell a challenge coming on.
I'm really excited for this weekend. I have some good friends coming from out of town and we always have a blast together. Can't wait! But before then, I have to make sure the house is tidy and the groceries shopped.
I guess I better get back to work.
Challenge 123: Paperwork!
123 down. 242 to go.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Challenge 122: Follow-up with potential clients
May 13, 2010
I'm happy to say that I went to my ICF meeting yesterday. It is basically a monthly meeting with a guest speaker, where coaches can get together and learn new information, technologies, ideas, etc. I had had the meeting on my calendar for almost two months, but as the day was approaching, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. A million excuses...I was feeling a little under the weather, I wasn't in a social mood, my friend wasn't going to go, etc etc. But I decided that I should go anyway, and I'm SO glad I did. I don't know why it surprises me that every time I do something for coaching, I go somewhere where coaches are, or learn new information, I get so energized and my mood completely changes. It's like I have to keep learning that every time.
THe speaker last night was a man named Lion Goodman. He spoke about how limiting beliefs we have (and have accumulated our whole lives) affect us from moving forward with our lives and having what we want in life. The idea is if we can recognize what those limiting beliefs are, then remove them, and replace them with new beliefs, that we can move more smoothly towards the things we are wanting. He had us go through this cool visualization where we ended up in the "belief closet." We let our subconscious show us which outfit our limiting belief was wearing. Then there was a process of taking off the outfit, burning it in the fire, and letting the subconscious pick out a new outfit for the new belief. I know this sounds crazy!! But it was totally cool and I can see that it would be a really useful tool.
So anyway, it occurred to me that if our limiting beliefs are formed all throughout our lives and make it harder for us to navigate through life, then I assumed that the earlier you deal with the limiting beliefs, the better off you might be. So I asked the speaker if he had ever worked with kids or adolescents or teens and he said that was his goal! To work in high schools, teaching students these tools. It felt so in line with some of my goals, so we decided to get lunch together and see where we might be on the same page. Who knows what itll turn into, but I'm so glad I went to the meeting. I'm energized.
Today is a coaching day. Then some errands. Then some family/friend time. Let's go!
Challenge 122: Follow-up with potential clients
I'm happy to say that I went to my ICF meeting yesterday. It is basically a monthly meeting with a guest speaker, where coaches can get together and learn new information, technologies, ideas, etc. I had had the meeting on my calendar for almost two months, but as the day was approaching, I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. A million excuses...I was feeling a little under the weather, I wasn't in a social mood, my friend wasn't going to go, etc etc. But I decided that I should go anyway, and I'm SO glad I did. I don't know why it surprises me that every time I do something for coaching, I go somewhere where coaches are, or learn new information, I get so energized and my mood completely changes. It's like I have to keep learning that every time.
THe speaker last night was a man named Lion Goodman. He spoke about how limiting beliefs we have (and have accumulated our whole lives) affect us from moving forward with our lives and having what we want in life. The idea is if we can recognize what those limiting beliefs are, then remove them, and replace them with new beliefs, that we can move more smoothly towards the things we are wanting. He had us go through this cool visualization where we ended up in the "belief closet." We let our subconscious show us which outfit our limiting belief was wearing. Then there was a process of taking off the outfit, burning it in the fire, and letting the subconscious pick out a new outfit for the new belief. I know this sounds crazy!! But it was totally cool and I can see that it would be a really useful tool.
So anyway, it occurred to me that if our limiting beliefs are formed all throughout our lives and make it harder for us to navigate through life, then I assumed that the earlier you deal with the limiting beliefs, the better off you might be. So I asked the speaker if he had ever worked with kids or adolescents or teens and he said that was his goal! To work in high schools, teaching students these tools. It felt so in line with some of my goals, so we decided to get lunch together and see where we might be on the same page. Who knows what itll turn into, but I'm so glad I went to the meeting. I'm energized.
Today is a coaching day. Then some errands. Then some family/friend time. Let's go!
Challenge 122: Follow-up with potential clients
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Challenge 121: Go to ICF meeting
May 12, 2010
I am happy to say that I'm feeling much better today. Nothing like a good pout to get you through. I also wanted to check in on my challenge yesterday, which was to write. I will say that I did write, but I can't promise that what I wrote was any good. I realized that I really need to narrow my focus on what I'm trying to say....something I've realized before. I have no problem writing about having a hard time writing!
Today is sunny and warm. The day started with cuddling in bed with the puppy and a great call with my coach. I just love talking to her. Coaching is pretty cool stuff. Today is filled with it. I have my certification call at 1, a supervision call at 4, and an ICF meeting tonight. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to that because I'm not feeling all that great and the girl I was going to go with can't go, but I think it would be really good for me to go. So I'm making it my challenge for the day. I'm sure I could find a million excuses to not go, so maybe having it be my challenge will just push it forward.
I've been thinking about failure a lot lately, and how I'm really bad at it!! When I feel like I'm failing, I just want to run away. But lately I've been realizing that failing is a huge part of growing and learning, and it must happen to get you over the hump towards excellence. Those sounds like just words, even as I'm typing them. Something we've all heard a million times. But right now, for me, it's all really real. The fact I'm not running away is showing me that this is something that is really important to me. Something I want, even though it's kind of painful. I feel lucky to know that.
Challenge 121: Go to ICF meeting
121 down. 246 to go.
I am happy to say that I'm feeling much better today. Nothing like a good pout to get you through. I also wanted to check in on my challenge yesterday, which was to write. I will say that I did write, but I can't promise that what I wrote was any good. I realized that I really need to narrow my focus on what I'm trying to say....something I've realized before. I have no problem writing about having a hard time writing!
Today is sunny and warm. The day started with cuddling in bed with the puppy and a great call with my coach. I just love talking to her. Coaching is pretty cool stuff. Today is filled with it. I have my certification call at 1, a supervision call at 4, and an ICF meeting tonight. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to that because I'm not feeling all that great and the girl I was going to go with can't go, but I think it would be really good for me to go. So I'm making it my challenge for the day. I'm sure I could find a million excuses to not go, so maybe having it be my challenge will just push it forward.
I've been thinking about failure a lot lately, and how I'm really bad at it!! When I feel like I'm failing, I just want to run away. But lately I've been realizing that failing is a huge part of growing and learning, and it must happen to get you over the hump towards excellence. Those sounds like just words, even as I'm typing them. Something we've all heard a million times. But right now, for me, it's all really real. The fact I'm not running away is showing me that this is something that is really important to me. Something I want, even though it's kind of painful. I feel lucky to know that.
Challenge 121: Go to ICF meeting
121 down. 246 to go.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Challenge 120: Write
May 11, 2010
It's just one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong. The toilet seat is unhinged and flopping around, the lever that makes the bath water into a shower won't go into the shower position, the house is a disaster, work got cancelled, etc. It's hard to not feel like I'm being tested right now. I know Vaughn would probably look at it through positive glasses and not take it all so seriously, but I'm having a hard time not being emotional about everything right now. I know the drill, however. When things are not going great, try to look on the bright side. Or try to remember all those wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for. And I'm trying to do that stuff too.
The puppy is pacing about the house, ready for his walk. The plan WAS to shower, then go out for a jaunt. I'm going to get that dang shower to work!!!!
I want to change my attitude around today. It's not serving me well to be in the emotional space I'm in, although I do believe that I should be allowed to feel whatever I'm feeling. I want to feel it all, recognize it, but also get something good out of it all. Right now I'm in a challenging place. I generally shy away from challenge. If something doesn't work out right away or if I'm not great at something right out the gates, then I tend to want to not do that thing. But in this case, I just have to get through it. Shying away isn't an option.
My mom reminded me this morning that I wasn't always a good performer/rocker on stage. That I started out timid and scared, and I ended up confident and powerful. I put in a lot of time and effort for it to be that way. So I know I have it in me. I just need to keep going and get through it.
On my plate today is coaching homework (LOTS), coaching certification program work, puppy, cleaning the house, laundry, clients stuff, and writing. I pretty much think I'll get most of that stuff done, but what I think would really be a challenge is the writing. I made a deal with a friend of mine that I would send him an intro and 2 chapters of my book, that I haven't even started, by the end of May. Now THAT'S gonna be a challenge for me. So today, I must work on it.
Challenge 120: Write
120 down. 245 to go.
It's just one of those days where everything seems to be going wrong. The toilet seat is unhinged and flopping around, the lever that makes the bath water into a shower won't go into the shower position, the house is a disaster, work got cancelled, etc. It's hard to not feel like I'm being tested right now. I know Vaughn would probably look at it through positive glasses and not take it all so seriously, but I'm having a hard time not being emotional about everything right now. I know the drill, however. When things are not going great, try to look on the bright side. Or try to remember all those wonderful things in my life that I am grateful for. And I'm trying to do that stuff too.
The puppy is pacing about the house, ready for his walk. The plan WAS to shower, then go out for a jaunt. I'm going to get that dang shower to work!!!!
I want to change my attitude around today. It's not serving me well to be in the emotional space I'm in, although I do believe that I should be allowed to feel whatever I'm feeling. I want to feel it all, recognize it, but also get something good out of it all. Right now I'm in a challenging place. I generally shy away from challenge. If something doesn't work out right away or if I'm not great at something right out the gates, then I tend to want to not do that thing. But in this case, I just have to get through it. Shying away isn't an option.
My mom reminded me this morning that I wasn't always a good performer/rocker on stage. That I started out timid and scared, and I ended up confident and powerful. I put in a lot of time and effort for it to be that way. So I know I have it in me. I just need to keep going and get through it.
On my plate today is coaching homework (LOTS), coaching certification program work, puppy, cleaning the house, laundry, clients stuff, and writing. I pretty much think I'll get most of that stuff done, but what I think would really be a challenge is the writing. I made a deal with a friend of mine that I would send him an intro and 2 chapters of my book, that I haven't even started, by the end of May. Now THAT'S gonna be a challenge for me. So today, I must work on it.
Challenge 120: Write
120 down. 245 to go.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Challenge 118: Come up with a new business plan
May 10, 2010
It's kind of hard to backtrack such a long and full weekend, but I'll try to sum it up here in this first paragraph. We left for LA around 7pm on Friday night and made it in about 5 1/2 hours. We decided to stop in Camarillo instead of LA because since we were getting in so late, and had the puppy, we didn't feel it was very respectful to barge in on our friends. The distance to LA and Camarillo from the 5 freeway was the same, so I still feel like I completed my challenge of making it to LA. And just to clarify, the reason I made that a challenge was because we were thinking of stopping at a hotel along the way on the way down since we were leaving late.
Saturday morning we wake up at my parents in a huge king sized bed. We want one...NOW!!! We headed out to LA to our friend's Nick and Kat's house. They not only let us stay there, but they agreed (happily!) to watch the puppy all day and night while we were at the wedding. Not only that, they were thrilled to do it. We felt good leaving Coach in such great hands. We had a quick minute to all take the puppy to the park together so he could get used to Kat and Nick while we were still there. We were on a tight schedule since Vaughn and I were part of the "setting up the wedding" crew, so we dropped the pup off and headed out to Malibu. Google maps said it was 22 miles away, but in LA (which somehow I completely forgot to factor in) the traffic was so bad that it took us over an hour to get there. Once we got there, since we were late, it was work work work from there on out. Vaughn was setting up the PA and sound for the ceremony, and I was setting up the dining room and tables. With five minutes to spare, I changed in the bathroom and made it to the ceremony. Such a beautiful wedding. We didn't get home until after 3am.
Sunday morning we woke up and had an 11:30 brunch to get to. A bunch of my friends from all areas of my life were meeting up. It was the one time we could all get together during the weekend and it was too short!! The brunch was just awesome. Such a great group of people, most of whom I haven't seen in almost a year. My heart was so happy after that brunch. I just wanted more time with everyone. After brunch we went straight to my grandma's to celebrate her birthday and mother's day with her. She lives in an assisted living place and it is just so cute to see her with all her friends, laughing and telling stories.
We left there around 5:15 and headed back up to Oakland. I drove the first couple hours, and Vaughn drove the rest of the way with no help from me keeping him awake. I can't remember the last time I was that tired. We got home safely and now here we are...Monday morning.
I got some not so great news this morning that kind of has me upset. But I just have to figure out a new plan.
I have a client call in a minute here, and then work the rest of the day. Hopefully I'll get to hang with my parents for dinner.
At brunch yesterday I was told that my challenges have been kind of wimpy. I didn't disagree. Sometimes I have no idea what to challenge myself with, so I want to turn it over to you guys. Have any fun challenges I can add to my repertoire?
Challenge 118: Come up with a new business plan
118 down. 247 to go.
It's kind of hard to backtrack such a long and full weekend, but I'll try to sum it up here in this first paragraph. We left for LA around 7pm on Friday night and made it in about 5 1/2 hours. We decided to stop in Camarillo instead of LA because since we were getting in so late, and had the puppy, we didn't feel it was very respectful to barge in on our friends. The distance to LA and Camarillo from the 5 freeway was the same, so I still feel like I completed my challenge of making it to LA. And just to clarify, the reason I made that a challenge was because we were thinking of stopping at a hotel along the way on the way down since we were leaving late.
Saturday morning we wake up at my parents in a huge king sized bed. We want one...NOW!!! We headed out to LA to our friend's Nick and Kat's house. They not only let us stay there, but they agreed (happily!) to watch the puppy all day and night while we were at the wedding. Not only that, they were thrilled to do it. We felt good leaving Coach in such great hands. We had a quick minute to all take the puppy to the park together so he could get used to Kat and Nick while we were still there. We were on a tight schedule since Vaughn and I were part of the "setting up the wedding" crew, so we dropped the pup off and headed out to Malibu. Google maps said it was 22 miles away, but in LA (which somehow I completely forgot to factor in) the traffic was so bad that it took us over an hour to get there. Once we got there, since we were late, it was work work work from there on out. Vaughn was setting up the PA and sound for the ceremony, and I was setting up the dining room and tables. With five minutes to spare, I changed in the bathroom and made it to the ceremony. Such a beautiful wedding. We didn't get home until after 3am.
Sunday morning we woke up and had an 11:30 brunch to get to. A bunch of my friends from all areas of my life were meeting up. It was the one time we could all get together during the weekend and it was too short!! The brunch was just awesome. Such a great group of people, most of whom I haven't seen in almost a year. My heart was so happy after that brunch. I just wanted more time with everyone. After brunch we went straight to my grandma's to celebrate her birthday and mother's day with her. She lives in an assisted living place and it is just so cute to see her with all her friends, laughing and telling stories.
We left there around 5:15 and headed back up to Oakland. I drove the first couple hours, and Vaughn drove the rest of the way with no help from me keeping him awake. I can't remember the last time I was that tired. We got home safely and now here we are...Monday morning.
I got some not so great news this morning that kind of has me upset. But I just have to figure out a new plan.
I have a client call in a minute here, and then work the rest of the day. Hopefully I'll get to hang with my parents for dinner.
At brunch yesterday I was told that my challenges have been kind of wimpy. I didn't disagree. Sometimes I have no idea what to challenge myself with, so I want to turn it over to you guys. Have any fun challenges I can add to my repertoire?
Challenge 118: Come up with a new business plan
118 down. 247 to go.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Blogless
May 9, 2010
I am not proud that I have gone almost two days without blogging. I had a crazy whirlwind of a weekend (lots of fun involved and very limited access to internet) and hardly a moment to write, or a device. I think I need to get a smarter phone. We just got in from a 6 plus hour drive and I have to spend the last 6 minutes of this day making sure the puppy gets a walk.
I'm tacking two more days onto my blogging year because of this weekend.
Til tomorrow!!
I am not proud that I have gone almost two days without blogging. I had a crazy whirlwind of a weekend (lots of fun involved and very limited access to internet) and hardly a moment to write, or a device. I think I need to get a smarter phone. We just got in from a 6 plus hour drive and I have to spend the last 6 minutes of this day making sure the puppy gets a walk.
I'm tacking two more days onto my blogging year because of this weekend.
Til tomorrow!!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Challenge 117: Get to LA tonight
May 7, 2010
Now this is a first. I'm writing from my bosses house AND I'm using a PC (gasp!!) Hahah. Not only is it a PC, but it's a desktop, which I feel like I haven't used since high school. The keyboard is really clicky. Or maybe it's that it's really quiet in here.
Today I feel like I've already done so much. I've driven to Menlo Park/Mountain View and back, talked to my mom for an hour, ran errands, picked up Miles from school, and am now about to embark on the dishes here at work. And this is just the beginning! I'm making dinner for my boss and Miles, and then when I'm done with that, we're leaving for LA. We're hoping to get out of here before 8. Regardless, it's going to be a long night.
This is the season of weddings. We have another to go to in Malibu tomorrow and one in the summer. All these weddings make me think of love in my own life, and how lucky I feel to have such a great partner, friends, and family. Springtime, sunshine, weddings and love. Things are good.
Challenge 117: Get to LA tonight!
117 down. 248 to go.
Now this is a first. I'm writing from my bosses house AND I'm using a PC (gasp!!) Hahah. Not only is it a PC, but it's a desktop, which I feel like I haven't used since high school. The keyboard is really clicky. Or maybe it's that it's really quiet in here.
Today I feel like I've already done so much. I've driven to Menlo Park/Mountain View and back, talked to my mom for an hour, ran errands, picked up Miles from school, and am now about to embark on the dishes here at work. And this is just the beginning! I'm making dinner for my boss and Miles, and then when I'm done with that, we're leaving for LA. We're hoping to get out of here before 8. Regardless, it's going to be a long night.
This is the season of weddings. We have another to go to in Malibu tomorrow and one in the summer. All these weddings make me think of love in my own life, and how lucky I feel to have such a great partner, friends, and family. Springtime, sunshine, weddings and love. Things are good.
Challenge 117: Get to LA tonight!
117 down. 248 to go.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Challenge 116: Call Psych program, print out values
May 6, 2010
Today is my best friend from high school's birthday. It's funny how well I remember dates and birthdays of people from my life before cell phones. Now that everything is digital, it's like I don't have to actually know birthdays or rememb important dates. I don't really like that. And while I'm on the subject, it also saddens me that all my photos are on my computer. What ever happened to photo albums, and going to the drug store to print out photos and having to wait a week to see what they look like. I'm sounding like an old lady!! And ironic coming from someone who was looking into getting an iphone just last night (not quite there yet...but looking).
The puppy crowded the bed this morning. Big time. It's great to have him up there, but the bed is just too small. We're working on getting a new one. It's sunny out with a slight breeze and the neighborhood birdies are singing their morning song. Do they sing every day, or am I just noticing it today?
Yesterday I had a really great talk with my coach. She is just so wonderful and I love talking to her. It's really great to have a smart, intuitive person there to just listen to what I'm saying (and not saying) and ask questions to clarifying it for me. My homework was to call the graduate program in Positive Psych and get more info, and also print out my values (that we clarified on our first call) and post them where I can see them. So...it shall also be my challenge today.
Challenge 116: Call Psych program, print out values
116 down. 249 to go
Today is my best friend from high school's birthday. It's funny how well I remember dates and birthdays of people from my life before cell phones. Now that everything is digital, it's like I don't have to actually know birthdays or rememb important dates. I don't really like that. And while I'm on the subject, it also saddens me that all my photos are on my computer. What ever happened to photo albums, and going to the drug store to print out photos and having to wait a week to see what they look like. I'm sounding like an old lady!! And ironic coming from someone who was looking into getting an iphone just last night (not quite there yet...but looking).
The puppy crowded the bed this morning. Big time. It's great to have him up there, but the bed is just too small. We're working on getting a new one. It's sunny out with a slight breeze and the neighborhood birdies are singing their morning song. Do they sing every day, or am I just noticing it today?
Yesterday I had a really great talk with my coach. She is just so wonderful and I love talking to her. It's really great to have a smart, intuitive person there to just listen to what I'm saying (and not saying) and ask questions to clarifying it for me. My homework was to call the graduate program in Positive Psych and get more info, and also print out my values (that we clarified on our first call) and post them where I can see them. So...it shall also be my challenge today.
Challenge 116: Call Psych program, print out values
116 down. 249 to go
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Challenge 115: Go for a run
May 5, 2010
Yesterday turned out to be a really good day. I'm not too sure what turned it around, but I was feeling good most of the day. I think part of it was that I started the day with good hair, a good outfit, and heels! :-)
My meeting with the potential new client went well, the sun was shining, and I didn't mind going to work. Overall, I was feeling pretty happy. One thing that was really cool was that I witnessed and helped Miles learn how to ride a bike. It was pretty incredible to see him go from not even wanting to touch the bike because he was scared of it and had avoided it for two years, to riding all by himself, in less than an hour. After the first time he rode by himself he said "it's weird because the fear I had about riding the bike was way more scary than actually riding the bike." A life lesson I keep learning over and over again. About things...not bikes.
My challenge yesterday was to get a new client. I'm still not sure if I did or not, but I feel really good about the meeting. She is going to get back to me this week, so I'll keep you posted.
Today is Wednesday, which means it's a school day. I haven't done any of my homework for my certification call today (oops!) so I really need to get on that as soon as my call with my coach is done. I know I'm going to get it done, so it's not much of a challenge. But something I am not that exited thinking about, but want to do anyway is go for a run.
Challenge 115: Go for a run
115 down. 250 to go.
Yesterday turned out to be a really good day. I'm not too sure what turned it around, but I was feeling good most of the day. I think part of it was that I started the day with good hair, a good outfit, and heels! :-)
My meeting with the potential new client went well, the sun was shining, and I didn't mind going to work. Overall, I was feeling pretty happy. One thing that was really cool was that I witnessed and helped Miles learn how to ride a bike. It was pretty incredible to see him go from not even wanting to touch the bike because he was scared of it and had avoided it for two years, to riding all by himself, in less than an hour. After the first time he rode by himself he said "it's weird because the fear I had about riding the bike was way more scary than actually riding the bike." A life lesson I keep learning over and over again. About things...not bikes.
My challenge yesterday was to get a new client. I'm still not sure if I did or not, but I feel really good about the meeting. She is going to get back to me this week, so I'll keep you posted.
Today is Wednesday, which means it's a school day. I haven't done any of my homework for my certification call today (oops!) so I really need to get on that as soon as my call with my coach is done. I know I'm going to get it done, so it's not much of a challenge. But something I am not that exited thinking about, but want to do anyway is go for a run.
Challenge 115: Go for a run
115 down. 250 to go.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Challenge 114: Get a new client
May 4, 2010
Another bright, sunny day. We woke up slightly earlier than usual. Coach was pacing back and forth on the hardwood floor, him expecting to come up onto the bed. I'm afraid it's become a regular occurrence, a habit. When we didn't let him on the bed this morning, he wouldn't leave us alone. That's it. We need a bigger bed.
Yesterday's challenge only slightly eased some of my worry. I have a certain amount of coaching hours I need in order to get certified in three months, and at this point, I'm a little short. Gotta get moving on that. Nothing too exciting happened yesterday. No "aha" moments or big life changes. Just a regular day, plus I went for a run.
Today I have a meeting with a potential new client, then work. Some errands, etc.
Challenge 114: Get a new client
114 down. 251 to go.
Another bright, sunny day. We woke up slightly earlier than usual. Coach was pacing back and forth on the hardwood floor, him expecting to come up onto the bed. I'm afraid it's become a regular occurrence, a habit. When we didn't let him on the bed this morning, he wouldn't leave us alone. That's it. We need a bigger bed.
Yesterday's challenge only slightly eased some of my worry. I have a certain amount of coaching hours I need in order to get certified in three months, and at this point, I'm a little short. Gotta get moving on that. Nothing too exciting happened yesterday. No "aha" moments or big life changes. Just a regular day, plus I went for a run.
Today I have a meeting with a potential new client, then work. Some errands, etc.
Challenge 114: Get a new client
114 down. 251 to go.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Challenge 113: Figure out certification stuff
May 3, 2010
Today is kind of weird. It didn't start out that way. We woke up this morning still in Tahoe, with the mountain sun shining bright on us as we got up. Spring is getting near up there and you can tell my the sound of trickling water and melting snow all around. In Oakland you can tell Spring is here because of all the wild flowers we find on our walks with the puppy. We had such a great weekend. The puppy loved having the space to run around off-leash.
I have an underneath feeling of stress about a couple things. Nothing too major. Overall I'm happy. Just have to figure out a few things. Im kind of in a funny headspace while writing this as I just got two emails that sort of change my plans a bit.
I think I'm going to go now and take care of a couple things.
Challenge 113: Figure out certification stuff
113 down. 252 to go.
Today is kind of weird. It didn't start out that way. We woke up this morning still in Tahoe, with the mountain sun shining bright on us as we got up. Spring is getting near up there and you can tell my the sound of trickling water and melting snow all around. In Oakland you can tell Spring is here because of all the wild flowers we find on our walks with the puppy. We had such a great weekend. The puppy loved having the space to run around off-leash.
I have an underneath feeling of stress about a couple things. Nothing too major. Overall I'm happy. Just have to figure out a few things. Im kind of in a funny headspace while writing this as I just got two emails that sort of change my plans a bit.
I think I'm going to go now and take care of a couple things.
Challenge 113: Figure out certification stuff
113 down. 252 to go.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Challenge 112: Research Positive Psychology
May 2, 2010
I'm, once again, sitting on Ken's couch looking out the window at beautiful Tahoe. The puppy is, once again, basking in the sun, dreaming I presume. The boys are on the mountain and I'm wondering what my challenge will be for the day. I don't have anything I absolutely have to do today, which feels nice. It's a lazy Sunday.
Yesterday was just such a wonderful day. I took Coach on a walk up to the mountain to meet the guys when they were done snowboarding. It was sunny and gorgeous out, so we sat on the deck, listened to live music, ate hot dogs and had some drinks. The puppy is such an attention magnet, so we made lots of new friends. After the mountain, we brought the party back home and started playing this board game called Sequence. My new favorite. Dinner and a hot tub later, we were all pretty tired. The plan upon going to bed last night was to sleep in as late as we could. For us...that was 9:30. Never thought I'd see the day!
While playing Sequence, I re-learned something about myself I've known for years. I hate to lose! And not only that, I hate it when other people win. Now, I know that that sounds obvious, but I noticed that the way I started out playing the game, was to make sure they didn't win...not necessarily setting up how I would win. An offense vs. defense way to play. That didn't have me come out the winner, however. Vaughn beat both Ken and I 4:1. I think it's time to change my strategy.
I still have Positive Psychology on the brain and I want to know more.
Challenge 112: Research Positive Psychology
112 down. 253 to go.
I'm, once again, sitting on Ken's couch looking out the window at beautiful Tahoe. The puppy is, once again, basking in the sun, dreaming I presume. The boys are on the mountain and I'm wondering what my challenge will be for the day. I don't have anything I absolutely have to do today, which feels nice. It's a lazy Sunday.
Yesterday was just such a wonderful day. I took Coach on a walk up to the mountain to meet the guys when they were done snowboarding. It was sunny and gorgeous out, so we sat on the deck, listened to live music, ate hot dogs and had some drinks. The puppy is such an attention magnet, so we made lots of new friends. After the mountain, we brought the party back home and started playing this board game called Sequence. My new favorite. Dinner and a hot tub later, we were all pretty tired. The plan upon going to bed last night was to sleep in as late as we could. For us...that was 9:30. Never thought I'd see the day!
While playing Sequence, I re-learned something about myself I've known for years. I hate to lose! And not only that, I hate it when other people win. Now, I know that that sounds obvious, but I noticed that the way I started out playing the game, was to make sure they didn't win...not necessarily setting up how I would win. An offense vs. defense way to play. That didn't have me come out the winner, however. Vaughn beat both Ken and I 4:1. I think it's time to change my strategy.
I still have Positive Psychology on the brain and I want to know more.
Challenge 112: Research Positive Psychology
112 down. 253 to go.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Challenge 111: Finish Coaching homework
May 1, 2010
It's a new month and I look forward to what it brings. I feel like each month is a new playground for learning and growing and finding out new things. Right now it is so quiet where I am. I'm sitting on a couch looking out floor to ceiling windows in Ken's Tahoe house. There is still snow on the mountains and on the roofs of houses, but the sky is this rich, sparkling blue. The perfect backdrop for the trees and white. Coach is napping on a ledge at the foot of the windows, positioned directly where the sun is shining. The boys are out on the mountain, and I opted for an afternoon on the ground. Coach and I are going to go explore.
Yesterday, the challenge was to rock my meeting. That didn't exactly happen. There was a mix up about our meeting place, and by the time we figured it out, it was too late to actually meet. We rescheduled for next week. It was ok. I had more time to pack for our Tahoe trip and get the house cleaned a bit. I hate coming home to a dirty or messy house.
The drive up to Tahoe was easy. Coach is a master of traveling. Sitting in the car quietly and patiently, not questioning where we're going. We folded down the back seat of the car, so he had his run of the entire back area. We got up here and went on a long walk with the dogs. Ken's dog Riley, and Coach get along best when they are outside. Something funny happens when we get in the house. Hoping for a better day for them today.
This weekend is a vacation weekend, but I still have some coaching work/homework to get done, so that shall be the challenge.
Challenge 111: Finish coaching homework
111 down. 254 to go.
It's a new month and I look forward to what it brings. I feel like each month is a new playground for learning and growing and finding out new things. Right now it is so quiet where I am. I'm sitting on a couch looking out floor to ceiling windows in Ken's Tahoe house. There is still snow on the mountains and on the roofs of houses, but the sky is this rich, sparkling blue. The perfect backdrop for the trees and white. Coach is napping on a ledge at the foot of the windows, positioned directly where the sun is shining. The boys are out on the mountain, and I opted for an afternoon on the ground. Coach and I are going to go explore.
Yesterday, the challenge was to rock my meeting. That didn't exactly happen. There was a mix up about our meeting place, and by the time we figured it out, it was too late to actually meet. We rescheduled for next week. It was ok. I had more time to pack for our Tahoe trip and get the house cleaned a bit. I hate coming home to a dirty or messy house.
The drive up to Tahoe was easy. Coach is a master of traveling. Sitting in the car quietly and patiently, not questioning where we're going. We folded down the back seat of the car, so he had his run of the entire back area. We got up here and went on a long walk with the dogs. Ken's dog Riley, and Coach get along best when they are outside. Something funny happens when we get in the house. Hoping for a better day for them today.
This weekend is a vacation weekend, but I still have some coaching work/homework to get done, so that shall be the challenge.
Challenge 111: Finish coaching homework
111 down. 254 to go.
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