Challenge 19: Don't do anything that feels like work

January 31, 2010

Today is a beautifully sunny day here in Oakland, California. It was another relaxed/lazy morning. We slept in til 10, leisurely drank tea and ate breakfast, and Vaughn is in front of the TV watching West Wing. His favorite thing to do in the mornings, lately.

I had a really wonderful day yesterday. I set out to go on an off-leash hike with Coach, which I was pretty scared of doing, and which I had put off for the whole 3 months we've had him. I didn't trust that he wouldn't run away, and I didn't trust that I wouldn't lose him. But I decided to go for it. Put all my trust in him that he's a great dog and that he'd always find his way back to me. I am so happy about great dane meet-up group I joined because they are showing us all these great dane friendly things to do. This particular hike up by Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve, was one of those things. So I was familiar enough with the trail. I knew it was dog friendly. So I decided to go for it. I threw the dog in the car, grabbed some towels (to clean him off after we were done), grabbed my galoshes (it had rained, so I assumed would be muddy...and I was right!), and set out for this adventure. The sky was blue, the air was crisp and fresh and the hike smelled of wood chips and trees. I unclipped his leash and told him that I was trusting him to come back to me and that he was a good dog.

He galloped and ran and panted and basically jumped up and down with joy. He ran off in all directions, but kept a close eye on me, and would always come awkwardly running back to me if I whistled or called his name. He made some friends with some other dogs on the trail, and had a face off with a giant cow! As we approached the end of the hike, I started to become nervous that I wasn't going to be able to get him to come back to me enough to put the leash on. We got closer and closer to the parking lot and he was still over 20 feet in front of me. I called to him, but no response. I decided that trying to get him, following after him, was only going to make him run farther away from me. So as he went through the open gate into the parking lot, I decided that I was just going to ignore him and walk towards the car, and decided that he was going to follow me to the car. And guess what?! He did. With ease. So I put him back on the leash, cleaned off all the mud, and put him back into the car. I was so proud of us.

Later in the day, after he had napped off his hike, Vaughn came home and we decided to test out the DMV parking lot for a skating rink. He put on his new roller blades, and I grabbed my skates and we did loops around the lot. And who knew that that was such a hot thing to do on a Saturday night?! There were 5 total skaters in the lot. 2 younger kids that Vaughn was getting roller blading tips from, and one older man who was putting us all to shame by doing skating tricks. He looked like a dolphin in the water, smooth and graceful. Coach still isn't ready to pull us on the skates, but I wouldn't say that's a bad thing.
Later in the night, we went out to the city for Nick Lamb's 30th birthday, the theme...formal. Tons of friends, tons of laughs, and tons of amazing outfits later, we came home to a calm and tuckered out puppy dog.

All around wonderful day.

Today we have some fun things in store. There is a great dane meetup at a dog park in Bernal Heights in the city and then we plan to take over a dog friendly bar/establishment a few blocks down the road. It's so nice to have some free time with both Vaughn and I in town. I'm really looking forward to it.

So my challenge for the day is to not do anything that feels like work. Just have fun. Just enjoy the day.

Challenge 19: Don't do anything that feels like work

19 down. 346 to go.

Challenge 18: Off leash hiking with the dog

January 30, 2010

I am doing something right now that I haven't done in ages. I am awake but still in bed. I gave myself permission to sleep in as long as I wanted (after I let the dog and cat out at 8am of course). 9:30 rolled around and after stretching out a bit under the covers, I grabbed my laptop and decided to do my morning internet check-up from bed. I rarely allow myself the luxury to stay in bed because I feel there is always a million things that need to get done, starting with the dog's walk. So it's just me and Coach, lazing around, still in bed.

And speaking of Coach, he was riled up yesterday. I had to be out of the house for about 7 hours for work, and Vaughn is out of town, so when I came home the house looked liked it had been attacked. Papers everywhere, the umbrella chewed up, things that had been under the bed dragged into different rooms, a chewed up empty bottle of Advil, and a very excited puppy dog. So we went to the dog park and I let him run off some steam and play with the other dogs, one of whom was a husky that was a perfect playmate. The right blend of running and rough-housing.

The challenge yesterday was to roller skate with Coach. This was a challenge because I was scared to do it. What if I fell? What if he pulled too much and I didn't know how to slow down? What if he pulled too much and I lost my grip on his leash and he took off? What if I ran into him? What if the ground is too uneven? And on and on. I realized that those fears would never go away so I decided to just go for it. Just try it and see what happened. So I put the doggy backpack on him, packed him with a pair of my shoes in case i got stuck out there, and set out for an outing. The ground was pretty rough, but skateable. And I only fell once and it was so minor it barely even counts. But I did it and I did our entire 2 mile loop around Bushrod park. I started to see my neighborhood in a whole new way..."that would be a good skating surface," "oh I never want to skate here..." The DMV parking lot right up the street seemed like a perfectly smooth skating surface so I might go again today.

Tonight I am looking forward to Nickel's birthday party. Lots of friends, lots of fun, and Vaughn is coming, which is always such a treat since he's on tour for a lot of hangouts. Yesterday I was trying to think about what the challenge should be for today and I kept coming back to off-leash hiking with the dog. Also something that scares me. What if he doesn't come back? What if I lose him? What if he bothers other people? We've done it once before with a pack of 12 other danes, and Vaughn was there, but I've never done it alone. So there it is.

Challenge 18: Off-leash hiking with the dog, by myself.

18 down. 347 to go.

Challenge 17: Roller Skate with the Dog

January 29, 2010

It was harder to get up this morning than it has been. I set my alarm for 8:30 so I would have enough time to walk the dog and drink tea before my 10am coaching call, but when the alarm went off, I just couldn't do it. It was cold in the house this morning. I opted to stay in bed til 9:15. I woke up out of a deep sleep, and groggily got out of bed. The puppy, anxiously awaiting his walk, paced back and forth, and sat (like a good dog) on my feet to signify that he was being so good that he should go out. "Not right now puppy. I promise after my call I will take you out."

I just got off the phone with my client. Sample session. She is going to think about whether or not she wants to hire me. I think YES! It's gloomy out. Certainly not as sunny and beautiful as yesterday, but at least not rainy. I am happy to report that yesterday was filled, hour by hour, with my to-do list, and damn did it feel good to be so busy and get it all done. I'm so glad I decided not to beat myself up about not getting it all done the day before because I was really able to go for it yesterday. AND, I threw in a couple more things I had been wanting/needing to do. Also, knuckles still un-cracked. It's HARDDDDDD! And even though I really really wanted to just give em' a good crack last night (you guys would never know), I didn't. So that has been feeling like a good challenge.

Today, I pick up Miles from school around 2 and have some errands to run before that. I'm thinking that my challenge for today should involve the dog, since he didn't get his usual morning walk this morning. So today, I am going to break out my brand new roller skates and skate down the street with my pup. EEEEK!! I'm scared. Haven't skated in ages and certainly haven't skated on uneven ground, but what they hay! I'm just gonna go for it and see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Challenge 17: Roller skate with the dog

17 down. 348 to go.

Challenge 16: To-do list #2

January 28, 2010

Ahhhh...my morning walk. What a wonderful way to start the day. And the funny thing is, is that before I go, I almost never feel like doing it. But once I'm out there in the fresh air, truly enjoying my walk and my dog, it just feels so wonderful. And there is also something about doing something for another being (my dog), whether I feel like doing it or not, that feels really great. And at the very least, it's a catalyst for me to get out of the house and get some exercise.

Today started off a bit on the early side (for me). I woke up around 7:30 to be able to make it to a 90 minute call put on on by my coaching certification program about how to make getting more clients a fun game. I was a bit sleepy for it, but felt proud of myself that I actually woke up to do it, especially since the call was recorded and I could have gone back at any time to listen. I was done with that call by 9:30 and made some breakfast and then took the dog out. And now, here I am, on the couch, about to embark on my day.

I have to admit that I did not follow through completely on my challenge from yesterday, which was to get through my to-do list. I have no excuses. I just procrastinated too much, wasted too much time, didn't get started early enough, and didn't feel like I actually HAD to get some of those things done. However, about an hour before I had to be somewhere, I realized that there were definitely not enough items crossed off and that I should just see how many I could get done in that amount of time, and I am happy to say that three got crossed off in that hour. I came home after my dinner with my friend's, with the intention to get to another couple items, but of course, I left the ones that were the most time consuming and took the most brain power, which for me, is not at it's height at the end of the day. So I didn't do it. My natural inclination is to beat myself up. Feel bad about myself for not following through, for not just doing it, for "letting myself off the hook," but I really tried to look at it another way. That today is a new day, that I can try again, and the important thing is that I do it and learn something. So today, I'm tacking on yesterday's lost items to my to-do list for the day and I'm going to try again. I have 8 ish hours to get it all done.

Also, I'm getting some really great feedback from people reading this blog. Several of you have written me personal emails about your experiences of your own challenges through the eyes of this blog and given me GREAT suggestions for future challenges. It's so amazing for me to hear and I encourage anyone to post comments about their own experiences. It's incredible to me how much this seems to be a common feeling. That we all are letting ourselves off the hook more often than we'd like to. I love the community feeling of this. So thanks for reading, and thanks for writing.

Oh! And I am very happy to report that not one knuckle was cracked yesterday! It was MUCH easier than day one and so far today, I haven't even thought of it.

Anyway, off to tackle to-do list number 2.

Challenge: To-do list #2

16 down. 349 to go.

Challenge 15: Get through my To-Do list

January 27, 2010

So far, today has been a nice and relaxing day. Vaughn let the cat out this morning around 6 am (to which I did not wake up) so I was able to sleep in until around 9 ish. The dog was happily sleeping on his bed next to ours and I was able to toss and turn a bunch of times before actually getting up. I took coach out shortly after I rolled out of bed and was enjoying the morning. It's kind of cloudy, but not rainy, and kind of warm in comparison to the past week or so. It was nice. About half way into my walk, I realized that I had a coaching call at 10am, so I had to book it back home in order to make it in time. I got home with minutes to spare. Enough minutes to make myself some tea and check an email or two.

I'm now sitting on the couch with the dog watching a bad concert on TV and watching Vaughn pack for his mini tour he starts today. Also...waiting for my noon coaching call. I feel like I can't really do anything while he's still here, wanting to spend as much time in the same vicinity as him before he leaves.

So yesterday my challenge was to figure out what my book is about. Through this whole challenge process I'm learning a lot about how I try to challenge myself. It usually looks like giving myself a huge goal to accomplish, one that is almost impossible in the amount of time I give myself, and then when I don't do it, I just feel bad about myself and become less motivated to actually do it because I feel like a failure. So although my challenge yesterday to figure out what my book is about, I realized that a more appropriate challenge could have been to do some really great brainstorming work. This is where my writer friend Dana came in. She gave me a writing tip she learned awhile back to help with the brainstorming process. That exercise just sent my ideas spinning in wonderful new directions. But had I not posted what I did, and had I not gotten an email from her, I might be sitting here today feeling like I failed. I didn't necessarily figure out exactly what my book is about, but I feel MUCH closer and I now have some structure to continue brainstorming. She also suggested to join a writing group or class. I feel a new challenge brewing.

Also, I have a weekly challenge on not cracking my knuckles, and damn, is that hard. I have to admit that I accidentally cracked them once when I was getting up from the floor, and a couple times throughout the day where I just simply forgot. But I'm working on it and today, not a knuckle has been cracked. This is much harder than I ever thought.

I have a sort of day off after my call at noon, so today, my challenge is to get through everything on my to-do list, which is about 10 things. I think I can do it!

Til tomorrow...

15 down. 350 to go.

Challenge 14: Figure out what my book is about

January 26, 2010

So Lily left yesterday and although I was sad to see her go, it was also kind of like "no big deal...see you in a couple weeks." The feeling is so exciting. Living with her back in Santa Barbara was one of the most fun times of my life, and I'm so excited to have her a stone's throw away. Dream come true.

Today is another rainy day, but the sky is clear, so I have a feeling it'll let up soon. I woke up to the sound of Bucket the cat's jingle jangle collar. I feel lucky that he wakes us up at 8am now, instead of 6 or 7. Maybe in another 6 months he'll let us sleep until after 9. And with the jingle jangle collar comes the dog, sticking his wet nose in our faces. Next thing I knew, I was out walking Coach in the rain at 8:30 this morning. I've come to love being up at that time.

Breakfast and tea in my belly (and a slice of cheesecake) and I'm reading for my coaching call. I have a call with my coach, then a call with a client. Then pick Isabel up from school, etc etc.

I just got off the phone with my coach and it's so funny because most of what we talked about is what sparked this blog. My feeling of perpetually letting myself off the hook, fear of failing so hence lack of trying, and instead bouncing around from thing to thing, from project to project. And it was ironic because this was the last call with this coach. I decided that I needed a different coach (i.e. didn't follow through with this one, bounced around to the next thing). The feeling I have is a sense of panic that if I don't change my ways, then I will be incredibly regretful. If I don't start taking those steps to those big dreams I've had, then it will just eat away at me. It already is. I just end up feeling bad and beating myself up.

So today I'm going to put in some good time trying to figure out what I want my book to be about. I have tons of ideas, but not one to focus on. So that's my challenge. Oh...also, I forgot to start a weekly challenge yesterday. It's going to be no cracking my knuckles for a whole week. YIKES!

Challenge: Figure out what my book is about
Weekly challenge: No cracking knuckles

14 down. 351 to go.

Challenge 13: Don't stress out

January 25, 2010

It's Monday morning and it feels like the day is already slipping away. I woke up a bit stressed at all the stuff I had to do today, and all the stuff I've been ignoring in my inbox all weekend. I'm trying to get a handle on it before I officially start the day (i.e. get out of the house and start running some of those errands). I just sent Lily and Dre out to one of our favorite breakfast spots...900 Grayson, the home of "The Demon Lover" (fried chicken and waffles to die for).

Yesterday my challenge was to make a plan for the day. It was a loose sort of day. Lazy getting out of the house, no real structure to it. So I made a loose sort of plan and it ended up working out really well. We checked out some potential tattoo shops for Dre to work at and then I took them on a Oakland/Berkeley tour, showing them the different neighborhoods, different places to hang out, the campus, etc. We drove up Grizzly Peak and saw a beautiful view of the entire bay. It was definitely a feeling (for me) of "I'm so glad you guys will be here...welcome to your new home!" And I think they both had a similar feeling. Love all around. The view was amazing. We continued through Tilden park, out through Shattuck and back home. We put on Hellboy to take a nap before Vaughn was done in the studio so we could head out to the city for Flamenco and dinner at the Thirsty Bear. Dinner was delicious!

So today is the day they head back home and I have to work. It's my first official day of nannying with this new family. I'm picking up the 7 year old boy from school at 2 and then the 12 year old girl at 3. I have no idea how to entertain a 7 year old but I'm just going to have to dive in! Eeek. I'm kind of nervous. So I think my challenge for the day is to not stress about it. When I don't really know how to do something or if something makes me nervous, it completely takes over and it's all I can think about. So today, I'm just going to have to figure out how to not let it stress me out, jump in, and have fun with it.

Also, I had a weekly goal. It was to get a new client. Although I haven't secured it, I do have a sample session this week with a new person. Very exciting!

Challenge 13: Don't stress out

13 down. 352 to go.

Challenge 12: Make a Plan for the Day

January 24, 2010

Still having such a great time with Lily. Yesterday, after I was done working, her and Dre and Natalie and Jay and me and Vaughn went to $1 wine tasting at the wine store right around the corner from my house. Then we ordered pizza (of course!) and drank some wine and giggled. It's so much fun having LIly here.

So my challenge yesterday was no internet. And I did it! It wasn't so much that it was really hard, but what was interesting was that I noticed how much my day is structured around checking my emails, Facebook, Perez, etc. It's sort of like it's what I do before and after I do anything else. It's also what I do to relax. But I liked this challenge for this day because I really gave my full attention to my guests.

So for today, my challenge is going to be to make a plan for the day. This is something I'm generally not very good at. So I'm going to try!

Off to go hang with my bestie. Til tomorrow...

12 down. 353 to go.

Challenge 11: No Internet

January 22, 2010

So Lily is here and it's just so much fun. And the most fun part about it, is that she is going to be out here for good in less than a month. I feel like a kid on Christmas morning. Anticipating the goodies that will arrive. We went out for a sushi lunch, saw her new place (which is amazing!), and then cooked a really great dinner together before passing out on the couch embarrassingly early. It's early (ish) here and I'm surprised that me and the dog are the only ones up. I was anticipating a 6am Lily call. I'm glad the sun decided to come out today.

So yesterday the challenge was the get my work done before Lily arrived, a task that seemed impossible with only two hours remaining. BUT, I did it!! It turned out that my client had to reschedule her call, so that freed up a half hour. I was able to get everything done on my list and that felt great. I'm glad I did it because I've been procrastinating on it and it simply just had to get done.

I'm not sure what today has in store but I'm excited for it. I have to work 11-3 and then I'm home free. Maybe another homemade dinner? Maybe a restaurant? Maybe $1 wine tasting at the wine shop around the corner from my house? I can guarantee giggles. So my challenge for today is no internet. I'd like to say that I'm not that obsessed with the interwebs, but that would be a flat out lie. I love being online. I'm connected all day. I check Perez like every hour or so. So after I sign off here, no more internet for me. See you lovelies tomorrow!

Challenge 11: No internet

11 down. 354 to go.

Challenge 10: Get all my work done

January 22, 2010

LILY IS COMING!! LILY IS COMING!! Her and Dre are coming to visit and check out their new house before they move here in February. I can't wait. And before they get here I have some work to do. Yesterday was a good day. I got a ton of work done, took the dog out and we FINALLY saw Avatar. We had tried two times and it was sold out. Each time, Vaughn's heart broke a little more. But we finally got to see it and I have to say, I really liked it.

So...yesterday's challenge. I had three back-to-back coaching calls and my challenge was to keep them all within their allotted time. The first one went perfectly. 11:30, right on the dot. I made a plan on when to start talking about the plan for the next week and what time I wanted to be setting up the next appointment by. The next call went really well too, except right as we were discussing next's week's appointment, his phone cut out and he had to call me back. So that went 1 minute over.. Then the last call, the call I was worried most about, was nearing end and I was getting scared because it didn't feel wrapped up. BUT, we finally did wrap it up on time and then went two minutes over trying to schedule for next week. So...overall, I was pretty happy about it, but it's something I want to keep working on.

Today's challenge is going to be a bit tricky but I'm going to go for it anyway. Lily should be here in a couple hours and before she gets here the house needs to get clean, the dog needs to get walked, and I want to try to get everything done for my job that I need to get done (phone calls, internet ordering, etc). But, I also have a coaching call in 45 minutes.

So challenge 10: get everything done before Lily gets here

10 down. 355 to go.

Challenge 9: Keep Coaching Calls within Time Range

January 21, 2010

I have to say, I think both Vaughn and I had a wonderful day yesterday. It was lazy and rainy and I definitely spoiled him (like he deserved). We watched TV, took the dog out together, shopped a little, ATE PIZZA (most importantly) and then went to see Cirque Du Soliel's "Ova" at night. Cirque Du Soliel is just so incredible. I've seen 2 other shows, but there was something about this one that just had me in awe when I left. It might have been because we were pretty close to the stage and I could see everything (the last time I went I didn't bring my glasses, so I missed a ton). At one point in the show, there were 6 girls who came out with big kiwi looking props. They flipped them around on their feet, tossed them in the air and caught them with their feet, passed them back and forth the each others feet and then they did the same thing with each other. It's hard to describe, but if you have the chance to see a show, definitely go.

I'm really glad I chose the challenge I did yesterday. No complaining. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I think the perfect challenge for a birthday day. I realized that the reason I usually say what I'm feeling (pain, tired, not good, etc) is twofold; 1) to give some context as to why I might not be peppy or might not be in the highest of spirits; and 2) the want to have someone take care of me. But I think what I'm realizing is that saying what I'm feeling doesn't always give context, and it's not a good habit to be in to want to be taken care of all the time (sometimes...yes). Both ways I look at it, it's making someone else responsible for how I'm feeling. For example, if I had told Vaughn yesterday that I was in pain, it would have changed the dynamic of his birthday. Instead of me pampering him and him being able to receive that care, he might have been trying to make sure I'm ok and not letting me do stuff for him. It allowed him to have exactly the kind of day he wanted to have, for him, not having to worry about me. And that felt a million times better than any communication about how I was feeling. And in the end, I still was able to do everything for him I wanted to do. I just got through it, put on a smile, and I feel so good about it. The trick is keeping it up. Practice.

So today the challenge is to keep all my calls within their budgeted time. I haven't been very good with this lately, sometimes going over 5 minutes, sometimes up to 15. Yikes! But today, I have four client calls back to back, so I literally can't go over on my times. It'll be a good day to start practicing how to shift the call in a timely manner.

Challenge: Keep coaching calls within time range

9 down. 356 to go.

Challenge 8: No complaining

January 20, 2010

It's Vaughn's birthday today! And so far we're having a lovely and relaxing morning. I didn't have to work like I thought, so I'm free, all day long, to hang out with my man and spoil him. Weeeeeeeeeeee. Tonight we are going to see Cirque Du Soliel "Ova" in the city. Zachary's pizza for dinner. Vaughn's favorite.

Yesterday my challenge was to change my perspective on the things I didn't want to take care of. Although I was able to see different perspectives, I'm not sure that I actually jumped in to new ones. But a funny thing happened while I was trying to think about different perspectives. I found myself surrounded by really nice, really great and really helpful people who eased the situations and made them better. So I think the value here is that by *trying* to change my perspective, I brought in some people to help me. And that felt great.

Last night I was trying to think of what my challenge might be for today. I wanted to pick something that freed me up to do whatever Vaughn wanted to do today. But I think I realized that I might be picking wimpy challenges. So today, I thought of a couple. It's storming really bad here today, so I thought that a good challenge would be to walk the dog our usual mile or two walk in the stormy rain. BUT, I already did that. Just got back. So I couldn't pick it. Then, I thought a good one would be to not use internet all day today, BUT there are some birthday plans that require a little internet usage. So I've come to something. Something I've been trying to work on in general lately is not complain. To not say everything little thing that I'm thinking, not say when I don't feel good, a general keeping of things to myself that don't need to be said. So today, I happen to be in a lot of pain and I'm having a hard time getting some stuff done. But I've decided to keep that to myself (other than telling you all! :-)
I won't mention anything about it unless asked. There it is. A challenge.

Challenge 8: No complaining

8 down. 357 to go.

Challenge 7: Change of Perspective

January 19, 2010

So yesterday was a good day. I swear I feel like all I did was eat salami and cheese and hang out with Vaughn and my friends. BUT, hanging with my friends was one of my monthly challenges, so I got one down there (two more to go). I am also happy to say that after much procrastination, many errands to be run, and some flopping around on the floor saying "but I don't wanna clean my office!" that my office did, in fact, get cleaned. It's been a project months in the making and it feels good to have it done.

We also tried, for the second time, to go see Avatar last night. The first time we went it was sold out. And guess what happened this time?! SOLD OUT!! We couldn't believe it. A movie that has been out over a month, STILL sold out in the theaters? I felt so bad. Vaughn has been wanting to see this movie forever. Next time we're buying tickets ahead of time. Instead, we made popcorn and ordered an On Demand movie at home.

I had a pretty disrupted nights sleep but I'm up now, bright and early, ready to face this stormy day (sort of). I have a lot to do today and some stuff I'm not looking forward to. So my challenge today is to look at it all from a different perspective.

Today: Look at my day from a different perspective
Week: Get another client

7 down. 358 to go.

Challenge 6: Tackle My Office

Last night was a lot of fun. We had some friends over for Bollywood movie night. Honorine made amazing Indian food and we laughed, ate, were silly and I had a blast. Although it was a get together with friends, I don't think it can count as one of my monthly challenges since it was already planned before I made the challenge. Regardless, it was fun.

I started my day off wonderfully today. I woke up early and decided to take the dog out for a walk before I did anything else (breakfast or tea). I felt like he deserved it...had been inside a lot of the day yesterday because it's been raining cats and you know what. So we went for our usual loop around Bushrod park (about 1-2 miles) and then I decided to walk to the dog park. By then it started raining really hard but we were already half way there so we kept going. You should have seen this dog in the dog park. He was galloping around, prancing with the other dogs, splashing in the puddles and playing with the toys. Happy dog=happy dog owner. So now we're sitting on the couch watching Six Feet Under while Vaughn works on a new video.

Jamie and Michelle are on their way over for some hot tubbing, cheese eating, and beer drinking. I'd say today is a great day so far.

As far as my challenges, I accomplished my challenge both for the day (yesterday) and the week. I said what was bothering me, and lo and behold, everything was much better after that. I don't know why I keep having to learn that lesson. Talking=things better.

My challenge for the week was to get a client by Sunday and I did. I sent out an email to friends and family telling them what I've been up to and explain a little about what coaching is all about, and I had a sample call on Saturday, and we're going to continue. I can't tell you how great coaching feels. It so much fun to be there with someone when they can say out loud something they've been wanting for a really long time and never allowed themselves to have. I know it sounds silly, but this is powerful stuff.

Anyway, today is mostly going to be about fun. Friends, cheese, Avatar, couch sitting. But my challenge for the day is also going to be to finally tackle cleaning my office. It's been bothering me for over a month. It's time to do it. For reals.

Challenge 6: Clean my office

6 down. 359 to go.

Challenge 5: Say what's bothering me

Yesterday:

It’s 2:15 and I’m on Bart, heading back to Oakland. And I’m happy to say that not only did I strike up a conversation with a stranger, but I struck up a conversation with a stranger, and then three more strangers (they were together so I don’t know if I should count them as one or three).

It’s funny how much I didn’t feel like having the conversation when I got to the airport. I actually felt a little stressed about it. I had woken up at 5, wasn’t feel tip-top, and certainly wasn’t feeling chatty. At the airport in Rhinelander Vaughn asked me what my challenge was for the day and I told him. He said I should try to do it in the Midwest, since people there are nice (is what I assumed he meant). But I didn’t want to do it in front of him because I was self-conscious. No conversation other than a small comment from a guy at the end of the security line. He said “hurry up and wait.” I agreed and smiled. Vaughn said that didn’t count and I agreed. I slept the duration of the 45 minute flight to the Minneapolis airport and once we got there, I just couldn’t imagine having to have a conversation. I was tired. Vaughn went to the bathroom and I told a woman in passing I liked her scarf. I was warming up, but it still didn’t count. We walked to our terminal and sat down near an outlet to plug in our computers. I looked around at my potential conversation people. A girl listening to music on her phone without headphones, another girl buried in her book lying on the floor, she had nice glasses I thought. That could be a point of entry.

Vaughn left again my perfect opportunity arose. A red-haired man in his 50’s walked by with his Apple on his arm and a wandering eye, looking for a plug. “You need a plug,” I say. “There’s one right here. I can move my stuff.” He is thankful and sits down. I think “this is my perfect opportunity.” I told him I loved his bright purple shirt and that not a lot of men wear bright colors and it’s really flattering. Ok, a slight fumble. I felt silly. But he seemed pleased. Then I asked him if he was coming or going. Incredible what that opened up. I found out he lived in the Catskills of New York, Woodstock to be exact. And that he had never been to California. He was an avid birdwatcher and planned his vacations around the birds he wanted to see and photograph. He showed me some of his pictures. Absolutely stunning. I also learned that he was planning on going from Bolinas to Monterrey. We both hoped the storm that’s coming wouldn’t scare the birds away. So there it was. A conversation with a complete stranger. I learned something new. He was so interesting. I felt accomplished and like I could relax. I opened my book and waited for our boarding call.

On the plane we were sat in a row in front of three college aged girls, one of whom was clearly from the south. From eavesdropping I gathered that they were from one of the Carolinas and they didn’t know each other well. “Where are they going?” I wondered. “What are they doing out here?” I slept, watched an episode of “Big Love” and soon arrived at SFO. They seemed excited to be here. Wondered if the body of water we were passing over was THE bay, wondered where Alcatraz was. I asked Vaughn. Right as we were about to deplane I asked them what they were doing here. “Visiting an Agriculture conference at UC Davis.” They were from North Carolina University, had never been to the bay area (only one of them had been to California before), and were looking forward to the trip. It was time to move out of the plane and I wished them well and told them to enjoy.
I challenged myself to do something I really didn’t feel like doing, and not only did it feel good to follow through, it felt good to learn something about new people. It made my day a little richer. Gave me food for thought.

Today:
So we got home yesterday and I received a package that made me really sad. Some old photos and videos that put me in a funky mood. But instead of talking about it, I just went to bed. So now, today, I've woken up with a headache and a bad attitude. So my challenge for today is say what's bothering me, instead of walking around with a chip on my shoulder. It's raining too.

Challenge 5: say what's bothering me

5 down. 360 to go.

Challenge 4: Strike up a conversation with stranger

January 16th, 2010

I DID IT!! I DID IT!! I DID IT!! And boy does it feel good. I started reading yesterday at 10:30 and had absolutely no idea whatsoever how I was going to finish that book. By 8:30 pm I had finished 565 pages of tiny type, not including the 23 page intro. Eeek.

Within 20 minutes of starting to read, I was already construction my "I didn't do it but I tried" letter to you all. It just felt so impossible. The end seemed so far away. But I just kept reading and at one point, I just decided that it could be done. I also decided, about 2 hours in, that this was as much as a challenge as walking around that lake. At times the book was so boring I didn't think I could make it, but I stuck through it and made it to the really interesting parts.

So I lost myself in the book, took minimal food/bathroom/shower breaks, and just plowed through. It seems like a no big deal thing, but I have to be honest...when I finished that book, I seriously felt like I could do ANYTHING. Because in that moment. I had achieved the impossible. I did something I honestly thought couldn't be done. So I feel proud.

Another interesting thing happened with it. Vaughn eventually woke up and read the blog and told me he thought I could do it and that he was proud of me. I think that extra push and support made a huge difference. I all of a sudden felt like I wasn't only doing it for me, but I was also doing it for us. I had a team member, someone on my side, a coach telling me I could do it.

So today we leave the Northwoods. It's 5:35 am here, 3:35 Cali time. I'm sad to go, but alas, know it must be done. We have a puppy at home waiting for us and life to resume to. It's been a wonderful week here.

My challenge today will be to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger. I figure, at least I will have challenged myself, and at best, might gain a new client (week goal). Off to tea I go.

Challenge 4: Talk to a stranger

4 down. 361 to go.

Challenge 3: Read Susan Faludi's "Backlash" (and don't beat myself up about not walking around the lake)

January 15th, 2010

Yesterday was another day spent enjoying the beautiful Wisconsin NorthWoods view from a very comfortable couch.  I set out to write Chapter 1 in my book, and I think I did it.  Right after I wrote the post, I wrote a chapter.  I don't know if it is THE chapter, and I don't know if I like it or if it is any good or if it even is what I want my book to be about, but I guess the important thing is that I wrote it.  Right?  So why do I feel like I failed at it?  

It wasn't very hard to write.  It didn't take very long.  I added more to it at the end of the night.  I'm wondering if I am still not pushing myself hard enough.  If I'm still letting myself off the hook with the challenges I'm choosing.  I wonder if I feel like something has to be hard and painful to be a challenge.  Does it?  

Oh geez...this is going to be a long year.

I'm feeling sort of like I do what I always do.  Especially in thinking about my challenge for today.  Vaughn came up with one last night that I really loved.  It was to walk around the entire lake (which is frozen over) at his parents house.  It's 11 miles around on a bike on the shore, and probably between 6-8 on the actual lake.  I thought this was a great suggestion and a great challenge.  BUT, the day before that we had gone on a walk and the new boots I was wearing tore up my heals and now they are painful and bloody/scabby even when I'm not walking or standing.  So I was trying to decide if I should just "challenge" myself and go for it anyway and risk being in pain the whole time, or if I should chose a different challenge.  

I decided to sleep on it.  When I woke up this morning, they were hurting.  So I'm reluctantly deciding to come up with another challenge.  But I'm not happy about it.  I feel like I'm letting myself off the hook.  But should I push pain to gain challenge?  Ugh.  I'm going to choose reading an entire book today, but I still feel undecided.  Maybe the challenge is to choose something else, and not feel bad about not doing the first one.  

I feel like I'm on challenge training wheels.

Challenge 3: Read "Backlash"

3 down.  362 to go.

Challenge 2: Write a chapter in my book

January 14, 2010

So yesterday was "start this blog" and I did that.  But right after, I panicked at the thought that I'd actually have to follow through on something.  And what's bad is that I was already mocking up the post, 364 days from now, explaining why I didn't follow through or accomplish what I sought out to accomplish.  I realized then that I have to change my mind-frame about it.  That I'll never get what I want if I think it's un-gettable.  If the amount of money seems to high or the dream seems too big.  I'm not sure, exactly how I'm going to switch my thinking, but I think it must happen.  A crucial piece of the pie.  

I woke up this morning just knowing what my challenge had to be.  I've been talking about writing a book for over 7 years now.  It's time I start actually writing it.  Today, chapter 1.  

I'm in a pretty ideal place for writing, on a comfy couch staring out the floor to ceiling wrap-around windows of Vaughn's parents lake house.  It's snowy and cold-looking outside, but it warm and blankety inside.  

Tea by my side...I begin.

Today: Chapter 1 of my book

2 down.  363 to go

Challenge 1: Start this Blog

I need a lesson in discipline and follow-through.  Plain and simple.  For the past 30 years I've been practicing letting myself off the hook for all kinds of things.  I haven't stretched myself far enough, I haven't tried hard enough, and when the going got tough, I got going, every time.  Basically I've gotten away with murder in the game of my own life.  And I'm getting to the point where I feel like I'm going to have major regrets if I don't do something about it.

The challenge:

Coming up with a new challenge for myself everyday, every week and every month, for an entire year.  And challenges that are actually challenging for me.  Not things that are on my to-do list anyway.  Some may be big and some may be small.  I have no idea what I'll come up with but I will write down and stick with the first thing that comes to my head.  I will write every day.  And I promise to be completely honest.  

Be with me on my journey to keep myself  "on the hook" with things in life.

Here I go.  

Today: Start this blog

This Week: Get one new client by Sunday

This month: Schedule three meetups with friends

This year: Make $50,000

1 down.  364 to go.