Well, details of said reunion are starting to get closer, but I won't say anything officially until I know for sure. But I do know that I picked up a guitar TWICE in one week, which is more than I've done for four years or so. I'm learning a new song. One of my favorites, and one of the first that made me love rock n roll. It feels good to be back.
I was lying in bed, reading, when I realized I hadn't written today. Again. I think about 155 days from now. When I have completed an entire year of writing and following through. Yes, that's me, always thinking ahead, living in the dream world. Living in the world ahead of time. I'm so resistant to being in the moment because being in the future is so fun and so full of possibility. But I keep getting messages to practice being and staying right here, right now. So unnatural for me. But I'm so willing to keep trying. And as I'm writing this, I'm imagining myself 155 days from now. What projects will I embark on then. AHHH!! There I go again. (Self...be here.) And as I wrote that, I checked my Facebook. Really...is it so hard to just BE!!?!
Big deep sigh. My shoulders are tight, I just realized and a surge of energy passed through me, pushing little chill bumps up from underneath my skin. I can hear the sound of a car or two passing by on the nearby freeway. Bucket drinking water from his bowl in the kitchen. I know I'm tired, but I don't really feel it. All I can feel is my hair against my neck, almost itchy and definitely tickly. I scratch my head, I don't know if because I needed to or if it was contagious, since I'm writing about itching and all. The cars outside sound louder than just a moment before. I just cracked my knuckles with a release so satisfying. And I guess I was just in that moment.
Now I'm off to other moments spent in my bed with a book and a big ol puppy dog.
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