Oh honesty. You're a funny thing. I've gone through a lot of different stages with this blog. Challenges, honesty, wimpy challenges, wimpy honesty, boredom, tedium, day to days. I originally set out to do something that I'd follow through on...something that I would do everyday for an entire year, and hopefully feel accountable since I was involving other people. I wanted to challenge myself everyday but quickly realized that I couldn't come up with big enough or realistic enough challenges every single day. And at the same time, I was looking inside myself and really wanting to be more open and more vulnerable.
So I tried that. And I think I went overboard a little. Saying potentially hurtful things. True things for me at the time, but if read by certain people, they could be really hurtful. One I almost deleted last night was the one about being unhappy with my job. I was having a really frustrating time, but since then, my boss and I have talked and worked everything out and things are great. I would hate to think that the kids would ever see what I wrote. At the time of writing...I was scared but did it anyway, and at the time, that pushing through the scared was what was important for me. This just keep changing.
So now, here I stand somewhere in the middle. Total honesty might not be the best way to go. Total honesty about my own self, is fine. But not if it involves someone else. Hmmm...so much of great writing is about telling true stories of true feelings. But you may have to hurt people along the way. It may be interesting but I don't know if it's right. And I don't know if I want to do it.
Maybe the key is being honest everywhere. If I'm unhappy at work, be completely up front there so honesty here isn't so scary. I don't know
Still not quite sure about it all.
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