I feel a little weird today and I can't exactly pinpoint what's wrong. Nothing, particularly seems wrong. Perhaps it's that I've had virtually an unscheduled morning. I think I do better with schedules.
I had absolutely horrible dreams last night and woke up pretty upset out of them. It was a recurring theme dream for me. All about doing something horrible and then trying to cover it up. I wake up right before I'm about to be found out. Ugh. Just thinking about it is giving me a stomach ache. I just tried to write about the actual dream, a "Dear Sally" of sorts. Writing to my dream self, but I just can't bring myself to publish it. It's too horrible. Delete. Delete.
I'm numb today. Middle-ground. Not upset, not happy. Just somewhere....there. It's quiet in here and as I look at my fingers type on the keyboard, they look strange. And not like my hands. As if I'm a "me" and my hands are these alien appendages with a life of their own. I should probably go outside. Snap out of this. I wonder what the "this" is.
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