Challenge 36: Find a balance

February 17, 2010

I woke up today not feeling very good. Head achy, tired with a restless nights sleep, achy. It's not surprising to me, however, because I haven't been looking forward to today at all. It occurred to me on the 14th that three days from then (i.e. today) would be the 15th anniversary of my dad's passing. He's now officially been gone for half of my life. It's so weird. I don't think about it that much, but lately it's been on my mind a lot. I've been having dreams about it. Remembering it all. So today I feel weird.

I'm trying not to let it debilitate me. Although I already cancelled my gym appointment today. Just not feeling up for it. I slept in instead. But I'm a little afraid I'll just sit here and be mopey, which I definitely don't want. I want to find the balance today between taking care of myself and giving myself what I need, but also pushing myself to get out and see this beautifully sunny day. AND, I have some people coming over for dinner tonight, which I am really looking forward to. So today the challenge is to be ok with giving myself some down time. Allowing myself to be in this space and see what things can unfold for the day.

So yesterday I had a challenge to get my to-do list done. And I did it and more! It felt really good. After I got home from being with Lily, I just buckled down and spent three hours packed with to-do listing. There was only one thing I didn't get to, but that was only because I didn't remember it was on the list until I was going to bed. I'll do that today. I also did three extra hours of work I didn't know I had to do, and disassembled an entire full sized, lofted Ikea bed all by myself. This might not sound exiting to any of you, but I seriously didn't think I'd be able to do it. I looked at that giant thing and wondered how the heck I was ever going to figure it out. Then I just started unscrewing screws and had to do some strategic planning and just kept telling myself I could do it. There were a few times when I almost decided to leave it and have Vaughn come over and help, but decided that I could do it myself and I did! It felt like an accomplishment. All around full day yesterday.

Today is already starting to feel better. Maybe it's the tea and breakfast in my belly.

Challenge 36: Find a balance

36 down. 329 to go.