Yesterday was another day spent enjoying the beautiful Wisconsin NorthWoods view from a very comfortable couch. I set out to write Chapter 1 in my book, and I think I did it. Right after I wrote the post, I wrote a chapter. I don't know if it is THE chapter, and I don't know if I like it or if it is any good or if it even is what I want my book to be about, but I guess the important thing is that I wrote it. Right? So why do I feel like I failed at it?
It wasn't very hard to write. It didn't take very long. I added more to it at the end of the night. I'm wondering if I am still not pushing myself hard enough. If I'm still letting myself off the hook with the challenges I'm choosing. I wonder if I feel like something has to be hard and painful to be a challenge. Does it?
Oh geez...this is going to be a long year.
I'm feeling sort of like I do what I always do. Especially in thinking about my challenge for today. Vaughn came up with one last night that I really loved. It was to walk around the entire lake (which is frozen over) at his parents house. It's 11 miles around on a bike on the shore, and probably between 6-8 on the actual lake. I thought this was a great suggestion and a great challenge. BUT, the day before that we had gone on a walk and the new boots I was wearing tore up my heals and now they are painful and bloody/scabby even when I'm not walking or standing. So I was trying to decide if I should just "challenge" myself and go for it anyway and risk being in pain the whole time, or if I should chose a different challenge.
I decided to sleep on it. When I woke up this morning, they were hurting. So I'm reluctantly deciding to come up with another challenge. But I'm not happy about it. I feel like I'm letting myself off the hook. But should I push pain to gain challenge? Ugh. I'm going to choose reading an entire book today, but I still feel undecided. Maybe the challenge is to choose something else, and not feel bad about not doing the first one.
I feel like I'm on challenge training wheels.
Challenge 3: Read "Backlash"
3 down. 362 to go.
I'll throw my two cents in and say physical well-being is definitely an excellent reason to push off a goal, especially in favor of another that still challenges you. You being miserable and physically wrecked later doesn't seem like it would do much good, but reading that book, whew! That will be amazing. Nice work picking yourself back up so quick and getting back in the game. I'm really proud of you, this is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteOh and the writing. It all matters, lady. Even if you end up tossing or scratching it later, it's all important. Just writing at all is a huge deal.