Challenge 267: The Aftermath

My birthday is officially over and I can definitely say I had a really great one. I didn't do anything very fancy, but it was just how I wanted it to be. The movie was great, the puppy was adorable (OF COURSE!), I got lots of love from friends and family, and dinner was just so wonderful. I feel lucky.

I also had the feeling yesterday that it's going to be a good year. :-)

Right now I'm still in bed. Awake but not quite ready to get up yet, secretly hoping that the puppy will come in here and jump on the bed and cuddle before I have to get my day started.

Challenge 266: Birthday Day

Well...it's here! My birthday. And leading up to today, I wasn't sure how I was feeling about it. I mean, I actually wasn't feeling much about it at all. I didn't really care. It wasn't like I didn't want it to come or got weird about getting older, but it was just a no-big-deal kinda thing. I asked for the day off work, but almost went back to tell my boss I could work since I didn't really have any plans. But, I decided to keep the day off and here I am, still in my pajamas (hee hee). I slept in, cuddled with the puppy, and lazily made tea and ate breakfast.

I'm gonna see a movie later, then dinner with a couple friends. I'm getting a lot of messages and texts from people and it feels really good.

It's sunny out today and I love that. Off to shower and get ready for the day.

Challenge 265: Sally, past

I've been waking up feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Heavy is kind of a good way to describe it. It's been a good opportunity for me to practice being present. To not try to avoid those feelings (because we all know that what we resist persists) but rather allow them to be there and try to feel them fully, but at the same time, try not to attach too much to them. At times, those two feel like very different, opposing things...fully get in and feel and look at them as thoughts passing through me. I haven't quite been able to reconcile the two, but I'm working on it and getting better.

Like I mentioned last night, I'm cleaning out my drawers and closets. Right now I'm staring at three giant trash bags and one giant piece of luggage all filled with clothes and shoes and things I haven't worn in forever. It's crazy how I can be getting rid of that much stuff, but yet, my closets and drawers still look exactly the same. Still messy. Still full. Maybe I should do an extra sweep.

Getting rid of stuff is weird. I found myself hanging on to things that I really loved many years ago, just for the sake of having loved them. Almost a marker that I existed as that person who wore that thing, even though I haven't even looked at the thing in years. Should I keep it just because it reminds me of a Sally past? Where to draw the line of junk around the house, to stuff that I'll want to keep forever. And then it begs the question, if I get rid of the stuff, do I get rid of the memory? Why hang on to it?
All just questions. I think I've done a good job of keeping the important stuff and getting rid of the non-important stuff.

I'm trying to get back into my gym routine that I've fallen off the wagon of. Woke up early today and should be heading out soon.

Challenge 264: Bucket, the cat

Oops! So I haven't been doing a very good job of being "back" now have I??

I just got off the phone with Sara, my friend who is my "Staying on the Hook" cheerleader. She was saying that I should keep writing because I only have a couple more months to go, and she enjoys reading the day to day stuff since we don't live in the same town anymore and don't get to see each other often.

So here I am. Back. I'm sitting at my (very messy...surprised?) desk. I'm going through my closets and drawers getting rid of a ton of stuff I don't wear anymore. Simplifying is the name of the game. I have too much STUFF. And stuff I don't need and don't use.

Bucket the cat is sitting on my desk staring out the window at our yard below. I imagine he is looking at the boys in the backyard, wishing and hoping that he could be down there with them smoking cigarettes and drinking bourbon. Sometimes that cat doesn't come back for days and when he does, we SWEAR he smells like weed.

I spent most of the weekend in Santa Cruz with some good friends who live on the beach. Me and Coach ventured down there and had a blast. We ate lots of cheese, saw a roller derby game, hung out with great friends and just enjoyed each other.

Work is getting exciting. I'm so in love with my clients and I have a feeling there will be some newbies coming into my life very soon.

Mostly, I'm grateful for all my friends and family.

Oh...and I have a birthday coming up. :-)

Challenge 263: Time to DO

Ok. Ok. With a very sweet email, a gentle nudge, and a drill sergeant-like talking to, I'm going to keep going. I only have a couple more months.

I can't write in length right now because I'm in bed, slowly drifting, but I just wanted to say that I'm back.

AND, I will say that I got some great advice from my mom today.

She said something like, "yeah, you should do it. But if you're going to do it, REALLY do it. You've been talking about it forever. Just do it."

Wow. What a life coach! It actually kicked my butt into gear. So...I guess I'm going to do it. :-)
Working on my new site...time to DO.

Challenge 262: Ebb and Flow

As the day goes on, my productivity fades and fades. I need to continuously remind myself that I'm a morning person! That I should wake myself up and get things done ahead of time, before the day goes on and I'm useless. It's only 6pm and I feel like I'm spent for the day, even though I still have five things on my business to-do list. UGH!! I am just procrastinating and wasting time.

I have to admit, that I'm really getting bored here. It is turning into another thing I HAVE to do in the day. I'm not feeling particularly open or interesting and so it's just details of the day. I've considered just stopping writing. I mean two hundred and sixty two straight (mostly) blog posts is pretty darn good, right? But yet, I can't bring myself to do it yet. The whole point was to follow through.

So here's another post. Maybe tomorrow the ebb will be a flow and it'll turn interesting again.

Challenge 261: Weeds and Sleep

I'm feeling, lately, like there is lots to learn.
And I want to keep learning.
But mostly, I want to watch Weeds and go to sleep. :-)